How Your Greatest Disappointment Can be a Great Lesson

Somehow I only seem to get around to blogging every 10 days or so...but I have good excuse for it! Saturday was a big day for me as I was inducted into Phi Theta Kappa International Honor Society. Not bad, eh? Well, I have an added pressure of maintaining my 3.5 GPA for the next year.

Yeah, thought that might be your response.

Anyways, God willing, I will keep working hard and pull my grades through. This semester I have struggled a lot with not only my homework, but also my life in general. I have been so incredibly disappointed with people in my life, namely this one guy that I really liked. Last night it hit me smack in the face: why in the world do I like him anyway? I mean, he really exhibited his immaturity last night, and what I once found humorous, I now find just downright annoying about him. I guess this is my way of saying, "Okay, I'm letting this crush go and getting on with my life", but he also deserves my criticism (he's dating a girl 4 years younger than he is whom his parents don't want him to be involved with, but anywho). God has a strange way of doing things sometimes, doesn't He? I think I've just had to come to realize that no matter how much I fight against something, if it isn't in God's will, it will not make me a happy person. I will not be able to function as a Christian if I continually fight against His leading. And lately, I have been struggling with my future. What will I do? What college will I attend? Will it even matter? I'm standing in-between choosing veterinary medicine and veterinary technology. I pretty much know what college I will eventually transfer to, but it's still confusing to look down the road and not know what's ahead! On that note, last night we had the group Re-Creation at our church. They were amazing; all of them are college-age students who have put their lives on hold for a year at a time to tour. They really support our hospitalized veterans and perform most often for them, and I admire that about them. Anyway, one of the guys in charge came up to me after the show and asked me if I was into computers (he had seen me putting up our computer that we use on Sundays); I told him that I usually run it and program it and everything. He said, "would you be interested in joining the group?" Inwardly I was thinking, "Would I what?" You see, this group is located in Pennsylvania. They stay in PA for about 4 months out of a year and tour the rest of the time. First of all, while I find the offer flattering, I just don't think I could cut it out on the road. I don't travel well! SEcond of all, it would mean moving away from the only state I've ever known as home, and I just don't like that idea whatsoever. Can we say that I'm just a little bit confused right now? Up until now, I had firmly believed God was leading me to be a veterinarian or vet technician. Now, I feel like He could also be calling me to join this group as a technician or computer person and tour the country. It's going to take some very serious prayer about both paths, but right now,I think I'll just wait on His guidance, which in the end I think is the only thing anybody can do.

My God is an Awesome God!

Wow. This past week I've been so floored by God's reminders that it isn't funny. Last week sometime, I was checking on my grades for algebra. Thinking that I had flunked my last test, I scrolled down to the test 2 slot. Instead of finding a 65 or something similar, I found a 100%. A WHAT?! If I hadn't been sitting down when I saw my grade, I would have fainted. This chapter was one that I struggled with and I didn't think I would do very well on the test, but I guess that getting that 100 was not only a confidence booster from God, it was also His way of reminding me that hard work, in any area, will be rewarding in the end. I didn't give up on the chapter, and I think that getting an A on the test just reminded me that I'm capable of more than I think I am.

Today I received a letter from my college informing me that I had been accepted into the Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society. Now, I was shocked that I left last semester with a 3.6 GPA, but this takes the cake. Again, I'm glad I was sitting down when I read this letter because otherwise I think I would've fainted dead away. Of course, there was a fee, but my parents wanted me to accept the membership because of how good it will look on my resume (haha). I've never been in any kind of honor society, and not only is this gratifying, it's humbling. The past few weeks I've been in a mood of "I'm worth nothing because I'm stupid. I'm worth nothing because I'm not pretty or thin or anything." These two events just exist to remind me that there is One who values me for who I am. He may not like all that I do or say, but He is going to remind me that I'm valuable to Him.

This past week was also spring Break, but "Break" was kind of an oxymoron. Why? Well, I have a paper due this comin Monday/Wednesday, and I had to take all my books with me to Mississippi. But I ended up not actually "working" a whole lot; I ended up playin the Wii more than I worked on the paper, haha. I think that there are more important things than a paper, and that's spending time with family. It's been a fantastic week and one that I won't forget anytime soon.