I finally got around to watching The Lone Ranger (2013) with Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer today. I didn't see it in theaters, mostly because everyone was saying how much of a flop it was, how bad of a film it was, etc. I had some motivation to see this movie; after all, there aren't a lot of films with Gil Birmingham in them that I can watch without feeling awful after (most of his films tend to have a lot of language in them, I've learned). I can honestly say I'm glad I didn't waste the money on a theater ticket, and I'm only out $1.30 (Redbox cost). Let me start this short review by stating several things: first, I am NOT a purist Lone Ranger fan. While I'm somewhat familiar with the original story, I am not a big fan of the original (though there's no Ranger like Clayton Moore and no Tonto like Jay Silverheels), and so what I say may or may not hold much water for you. Second, I am also NOT a Native American/Comanche expert, and I don't claim to be; I only know a little about some cultures, so I go off that.
The one thing that has irked me about this movie from the very beginning was the casting of Johnny Depp as Tonto. I mean really. The man isn't native (he claims to have some ancestry through his 'grandmother', but hasn't produced any proof of this claim), though he is extremely talented. Depp is, for lack of a better term, a character actor. Just look at his career to know that: Jack Sparrow, Willy Wonka, Rango, Edward Scissorhands, etc. I will be the last person on earth to say that Depp isn't talented. On the contrary, I think he's incredibly talented and he is able to pull of comedic parts with success. But this...this just wasn't it for me. While Depp's Tonto had some comic moments, I felt overall that it was all, I dunno. Fake? Forced? Now I don't know how a Comanche, who had spent his entire life speaking his native language and then learning English later, would really speak. But a consensus among most, if not all, Natives and native tribes is that Tonto's way of speaking is demeaning. It fits into the stereotype Hollywood has produced ever since the beginning of film in the 1890s. Also regarding Tonto, there are so many talented (and available!) Native actors out there now. Michael Spears, Eddie Spears, Zahn McClarnon, Gil Birmingham, Adam Beach, Chaske Spencer, Wes Studi. Just to name a handful! And that's not even the extent of the list, to be quite honest. Those are the actors whose work I'm most familiar with. But they are proven actors, who are not only talented and who not only have impressive credits to their names, but they are also the culture (give or take) that Tonto represents. Granted, the only real native in this list who is actually of Comanche heritage is Birmingham. But, I digress. You get my drift anyway. It's ironic that Birmingham and other Native actors were included IN the film, but not in very main roles! What is up with this? Is Hollywood so set in its racial bias towards Natives in film that it can't even fathom the idea of putting a Native actor in a main role that is also iconic? For however stereotypical Tonto may be, at least Silverheels was a Native actor. And I personally feel as if Verbinski and Bruckheimer missed a rare opportunity to kind of erase that Indian stereotype by not only casting a true Native in the role, but also making Tonto a more believable, more realistically speaking and acting person. But, Hollywood is all about money, and films are all about getting the actors who will make your film sell. Guess that didn't work out so well. Just look at the box office numbers for it and all the critical reviews!
[Side note for this section: Tonto's entire look was based on a painting of a Crow warrior. I'm pretty sure that the Crow and Comanche are about as related as a dog and a cat. No Comanche actually looked like Tonto, and I find his costume design rather insulting and demeaning; they could've jazzed up a traditional Comanche warrior outfit for goodness' sake!]
As for Armie Hammer as the Lone Ranger/John Reid. Ouch. What a hapless nit-wit! Watching the Lone Ranger series, I never get the feeling that Reid is stupid. Or that he's hapless. Or that he's essentially so helpless that it's luck which gets him through situations. Clayton Moore's Lone Ranger, while it may be cheesy (it was the 1950s after all), is a guy who understands the value of life and of justice. The right kind of justice. That's kind of thrown in there in this film, but I honestly feel as if Hammer's Lone Ranger's sense of morality and soul is undermined by his pure lack of competence as a crime fighter. This is not Clayton Moore. This is not the Lone Ranger you're probably familiar with.
The gratuitous violence by the film's villains is unnecessary. The constant weirdness perpetrated by Tonto is tiresome and laughable [maybe on purpose]. Overall? This movie is NOT worth your time or money. Sure, you'll have some laughs along the way. And if you like Johnny Depp, then you'll probably like his Tonto (to me a mix of Jack Sparrow and something original). However if you are looking for a fun modern return to The Lone Ranger of Clayton Moore's and Jay Silverheels' era, then you are looking in the wrong place.
Rating: 1.5/5. Though the movie did have decent music to it. It should; the score was composed by Hans Zimmer, and pieces of the score were composed/arranged by Geoff Zanelli (responsible for the beautiful scores of Into the West (2005); at least that's what I know him from). But that's about the only good thing in this film.
