Frustrations

You know what is probably the most frustrating thing about being a preacher's kid? (PK). Not being able to say the things you want to the most to the people you'd love to say them to. Some things, I'll admit, aren't terribly nice, but there are tons of times I'd love to give people what-for but because of my dad's job, I can't. I have to stand by and watch while people stab my parents (and me) in the back and do a multitude of other things that are pathetic.

While this church has been better than our last (we've been here for 2 years in May), the amount of griping and complaining seems to be worse.

Don't get me wrong; sometimes I love the people that are in the church, but usually, the ones you strongly dislike are in the majority. In this church, the latter is very true for me. Now, I have tried not to have a bitter heart or an attitude towards such people, but it's very difficult. It's very difficult to let the God of the Bible take control of my situations. There have been times where I've said, "okay, Lord, this is in Your hands and I'm wiling to deal with whatever comes of it." And usually, it turns out fine. May not be what I want, but eventually I see how it worked. Not lately.

There's a forum I'd joined in 2005 called "The Dancing Lawn" at narniafans.com. I left for various reasons several months ago and only at the beginning of this year did I return. Disappointment could not explain what I think about the forum now. The people I had looked up to are now ones that I can't respect anymore. I know I've had my own share of words around the forum, and at times I could have been nicer, but some members take it too far. So I've pretty much determined that I'm a cynical pessimistic person who's bitter in her heart and soul.

I will be brutally honest: I hate my dad's job. And I'm bitter. Tried to fight that bit of truth but I am. I'm bitter about it. think what you will about me, but I said I'd be true and honest.