Sick in Your Spirit

Have you ever felt sick in your spirit? Like, you're sick, but there's no physical symptoms? I've been that way for a long time. I know the source of it: my walk with the Lord is suffering. All my reactions to anything and everything are tied into how well my walk is going. When my walk suffers, I suffer. Today is just another reminder of how much I've failed, not only as a Christian, but as a person.

While this may not be directly tied into the topic, since about 11 a.m. this morning, I've been feeling really upset, lonely, depressed, and angry. Why? Why would I start feeling that way during church? Well...it's a little hard not to when you have been alienated from kids your own age, partly by my own choice, partly by the lies of other people and their actions. Part of it I've done on my own, because I'm not a people person, and I like my independence. But, no person likes to remain completely alone. I like to hang out, I like to have friends over. My problem is, my friends all live 2 or 3 hours away. It's hard to get together when your schedule conflicts constantly with your parents' schedules. And now, since my mom is working, it's getting tougher. I just feel...left out. I am not really sure how to explain what I feel like right now. I want to cry, but tears just won't come. I was sitting completely alone during church. I know I shouldn't expect people to just buddy up to me. I don't. But it would be nice if I was treated like everyone else instead of "the preacher's daughter." It's a curse. I hate it. One of the youth treated me differently during VBS, and now, it's like VBS never even happened. Is there something wrong with me?

This is why, if I have the choice, I will never marry a preacher because I would rather die an old maid then put myself or my kids through something like this. I hate the life that comes with being in the ministry. I hate the political garbage I and my parents have to deal with nonstop. If you're going into the ministry, don't get married. Your wife will regret it.

Rainbows, Weddings, and a Road Course Race

Okay, so I have 3 topics to blog about today. thursday, my mom and I traveled to Skellytown, Texas (West Texas) to visit my grandparents, and to attend my cousin's wedding. The wedding was beautiful. Brandi's (the bride) dress was gorgeous! I'm sorry it's not a better pic. But anyway. (Brandi is on the left, pastor in the middle, and Jacob on the right. Yes he's very tall!)

It rained nearly all day, but thankfully the wedding and reception were indoors. We left long before the reception was over, but on the way home, we got to see a beautiful rainbow (the picture doesn't do it justice, and won't go underneath this text, so sorry about that; it's at the top)


To move onto my weekly blog about the NSCS race, it was at Infineon Speedway in Sonoma, California. I didn't get to watch the first part of it, since we were driving home, but I got to watch from lap 56 onto 110. Very disappointed tony was 2nd and didn't win, but hey, he didn't wreck like last year! Maybe he'll do better next week in New Hampshire.

Vacation Bible School

I said I'd blog about VBS last Friday, but I was so tired and stressed out, I forgot. So here's my Friday post. haha.

I was helping with 4 year olds this past week. Not the place I wanted to be, but the place where I was put. Thankfully, I had two youth helping out in Pre-K, which was right next door. They made the day go just a little faster and made it just a little more fun, as we always were talking and having fun with each other. I didn't get a headache until Friday morning. On average, we had about 12 kids each day, combined with about 12-14 of Pre-K kids. So, we had 30 or 25 each day. Good grief! A saving grace was the playground. I think it was Tuesday when we started using it because the kids were having a meltdown. In my opinion, they and Pre-K are too young to be there because they take naps. In fact, on Thursday, when we were watching Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie, one kid came up to the teacher and asked, "When are we going to lay down?" (we had turned out the lights) The teacher turned to me and another helper and said, "I don't know, but that sounds like a great idea to me!"

Then, as soon as VBS ended, some of the kids (Tuesday-Friday) stayed from 12-2 p.m. to practice for our musical. I was one of them, so I had to be up at the church from 7:45 a.m. until 3 p.m. because the drama team had to stay 30 minutes to an hour after everyone else had left. I was t-i-r-e-d. So was my mom and the music director. But, it was worth it on Sunday morning when we, and the children's choir, presented the 2009 Vacation Bible School musical, "Boomerang Express." And yes, it was Australian themed. It was about how everything in your life comes back, like a boomerang, to your relationship with Jesus Christ. We didn't do any of it perfectly. There is no way to do so! But, the reason we did it was to show people what we had learned, and to share the gospel with those who may not be familiar with it. That was the most important thing; we did it to glorify Christ. That's why all the hard work was worth it.

The Lifelock 400 at Michigan

Not much to say about this race. It was boring, and I ended up leaving the room about 60 laps in. Tony didn't do entirely well; however, he finished 7th.

All I can say is, NASCAR needs to go back to the old car, but add in the safety features. These new cars, the COTs, make races b-o-r-i-n-g and uneventful. Good grief, part of the reason I watch NASCAR is for all the wrecks!

Tony Stewart's Win at Pocono

I completely forgot to blog about Tony's win! He won the Pocono 500 last Sunday. It was a VERY boring race until about the last 30 laps; then it was a question of, "who will run out of fuel and who will make it to the end?" Tony was amazing. He saved enough fuel to make it to the end, AND he did a burnout. ;) Tony ended up racing in a backup car; he had wrecked the original in practice Saturday and had to start at the back (43rd), but he had originally been the pole sitter (sitting in 1st place because qualifying was rained out).

However, I don't think tony would have won had he started the race in first. Dont' get me wrong; Tony can win when he wants to and when luck doesn't turn against him. But, he does better in traffic. He does better when he has to work to get up front to win.

All I can say is, the man rocks. He hasn't won all those races for nothing.

Cats, Dogs, and Vets.

Well, today marks the end of my first week as a volunteer\observer\shadower at my local veterinary clinic. I now realize how hard it can be to get up at 8:00 a.m. or 7:30 a.m. each and every day in order to establish a habit of going to bed early and getting up early. I'm starting to get into that routine, and though I'm not a morning person, I'm going to keep getting up before 9 even on the weekend(s). Next week, though, I can't volunteer as I'll be working at church for our Vacation Bible School (Boomerang Express, which I'll blog about next Friday).

So what have I done at the clinic? Monday, I mainly just observed and observed a cat being neutered (a surgery done on a male cat to fix it, for all you non-medical people. LOL), watched the vet perform examinations, and examined an x-ray of a cat's leg\elbow. Tuesday I was off, because the clinic here (which is another office of the one in a town not far from me) is only open on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and half of saturdays, and on Tuesday I was helping our music director burn some cds for her students' recital Sunday and straighten up her computer and such. Wednesday was back to work. That morning, I observed a dog being spayed (a female dog getting fixed) and it was interesting! Because femals obviously don't have the same anatomy as males, they have to go in and remove the uterus and ovaries. So, in the process, I got to see the bladder, spleen, and small intestine. We were booked with appointment almost all day. I also got to file some files and run an errand to the bank for the vet's assistant.

Today, Thursday, I was able to finally see some ultrasounds run on two mares. Before that, I helped with an ultrasound on a cat (but he wasn't very happy about it, lol). Since I'm under 18, and not an actual worker at the clinic, I had to stay out of some things because of insurance issues, but that was okay. I stood back and watched as they ran an ultrasound; (and if you're wondering if they do it on the outside or inside, let me tell you, they do it internally; i.e. first they put their hand\arm inside the horse *the south end, the rear* then they run the ultrasound camera thingy in and look around). One of the mares was pregnant again, even though she had already had a colt\foal recently (the difference between the two is that a colt is a male baby horse, the foal is a female baby horse).

So, it was fairly interesting. I'm still not sure if it's something I'd like to do with myself, but it's worth looking into.

If you think about it, please pray for me this Saturday morning. I'll be taking my SAT test and am very nervous about it. :)