That week, I was studying for my chemistry and algebra finals at NCTC. I remember exactly when I heard that Papaw was gone. I was in my room, studying for my chemistry final when my dad came into my room to tell me. At first, it was almost this feeling of relief, since Papaw would not have wanted to linger in pain and such. But then it was just a feeling of "he's really gone" that followed. I'll be perfectly honest, and I don't know if I've ever even shared this with my family: I had a hard time grieving. Yes, I was very sad that he was gone. Words could not and cannot describe how much I still miss him and hearing his voice on the phone. But it was almost like I was in a deep state of denial for a long time. Maybe it's because I had time to accept that he was going to die, and I was prepared for it. Whatever the reason, I still cry sometimes whenever I think about him. He recorded an interview for a WWII museum 3 years ago, and every time I listen, I can't help but cry because I miss his voice, and I miss his humor. My Papaw was probably one of the most amazing men I could ever have been blessed to know besides my dad. He was one of the most stubborn yet kind person you could hope to meet. When he talked politics, you knew EXACTLY where he stood on certain issues. When he talked God, you also knew exactly where he stood on his faith and walk with Christ. He was also loyal and faithful to my Memaw, exemplified when she had her hip surgery over a year ago.
I'll never forget witnessing this one little simple act of love when she was in the hospital recovering from her surgery. Papaw didn't want to leave her side, but we finally convinced him to go back to Skellytown for the night. But he made sure that, before he left the hospital, he kissed Memaw on the forehead and cheek. I don't remember if he told her he loved her (pretty sure he did), but just witnessing the strong bond there nearly made me choke up right then. They would have been married 60 years this last March if Papaw hadn't passed away last December. Along with my parents' example, I hope that I have a marriage that lasts at least half that time, and that at the end, the love that was there at the very beginning is still going strong at the very end. This also brings me to saying something about Memaw; she faced his death head on and refused to be coddled because she wanted to learn to be on her own. That, to me, is one of the things I admire the most about her because I really doubt I could have been that strong!
Papaw is gone, but I know it's only temporary. He is having a time in heaven, and I'm sure he and Bailey are closer than ever. I can only imagine what that reunion looked like! and as Mr. Magorium said, in a quote that I will always find to be true: "When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words."
