"10 years in the making." Or so Marvel likes to remind us. 10 years of films intertwined that lead up to Infinity War, the first hints of which we received at the end of the very first Avengers (if I'm not mistaken about that-I'm fuzzy on pre-Thor films as far as details!). As for me, I've only been a fan 3 years fewer, really only getting involved in the MCU in 2011 with Captain America and then Thor. Or maybe Thor and captain America. I don't remember. I only remember seeing the Avengers teaser at the very end of CA and being way too excited for it the next year. I was living in Mississippi at the time, and a friend and I decided to hit the Avengers midnight premiere. Literally. I'd never been to a midnight premiere of any movie, and I was thankful for the pre-order function online! We got to the theater at 11, and the movie was already sold out, and the theater itself was half full by 11:30. I think one of the reasons I love Avengers so much was because of the atmosphere that night. It was GREAT watching it with people who were obviously bigger fans (I mean, some of them had dressed up!), hearing them cheer and clap at various points throughout the film. Unfortunately, I haven't been back to one since that movie. Only nothing has really been special enough to me to want to see it at midnight (not to mention working the next day kind of takes the fun out of it!).
But, I really wanted to go to the midnight showing of Infinity War. Anyone who knows me fairly well knows how giddy I kind of get over these movies/characters; what can I say? I embrace my nerd side fully. A friend asked if anyone wanted to go, and of course I said yes. Ok, granted, it was the 9:00 showing and not the 12 a.m., but it still counts, right? I didn't get home until 12 anyway. Haha. 5 of us went last night, and it. was. awesome. Sad. Bittersweet. Shocking. I'm still reeling from some of the deaths we witnessed in the film. Before I go much further, yes, this will have a ton of spoiler material. If you don't want to know, don't read past this paragraph. You've been warned.
Ok. Can I just start out by listing the death toll?
Confirmed dead (we see bodies and/or blood):
Loki (gah!)
Gamora
Heimdall
Vision
Presumed dead ("erased" per Marvel explanation)
Nick Fury
Maria Hill
Peter Parker (gah!)
Dr. Strange (gah!)
Bucky (GAH!!!)
T'Challa (gah!)
Wanda (gah!)
Thor (at least I think he was 'erased', I don't remember seeing him again after Thanos snapped his fingers, but my eyes were a little blurry by credits' end...)
Drax
Mantis
Groot
Peter Quill
Characters completely missing:
Clint Barton
Scott Lang
*Per Natasha: both took deals (think Civil War) for the sake of their families. However, as far as the film goes, their fate is unknown; though, if Ant-Man and the Wasp follows the events of IW, then we know Scott is still alive.
I was shocked, SHOCKED that Loki was killed within the first 10 minutes of the movie. I had an inkling that he might die, just based on things I'd been reading from different fans, but I at least thought they'd let him live half the movie, you know redeeming himself from previous mischief. Nope. The only consolation is that he died to save Thor. Reason 101 why I love him. Also not happy AT ALL that they killed off Bucky. We had hardly any time with him in this film, presumably when he was back to normal! What gives?! I just can't. I was so stunned by Loki's death that I had a hard time even crying. Then when other characters began disappearing after Thanos snapped his fingers, the waterworks started. Especially when Peter Parker grabbed onto Tony and said, "I don't wanna go, Mr. Stark. I'm afraid to go." Cue the hard core crying. I had fully braced myself for CA dying, since we know Chris Evans' contract is up after Avengers 4. I was not, however, prepared for the sheer number of characters who died.
One grumble I have against the film is the absence of Clint Barton (Hawkeye). I'm not sure why he wasn't in the film, I haven't heard any kind of explanation as to why. Poor Hawkeye-he always seems like an afterthought! For the negative (aside from all the dying), I didn't necessarily like how they all went separate ways and there were almost separate stories for a while. I guess with so many superheroes in one film, they had to do this for the sake of ease.
For the positive: the banter between Strange and Tony was hilarious (although I was waiting/hoping for a Sherlock reference ;) ). Obviously any scene with Peter Parker in it was funny also, he was such a good choice for Spider-Man. And that entrance by Captain America...multiple people in our theater cheered when he showed up! I've noticed that even though people know Marvel films, they tend to leave when the credits roll. Most of the theater sat through all of the credits, and didn't get up as usual, which I thought was interesting. Part of me is trying to stay hopeful-we know that in the Marvel universe, people have a hard time dying. Maybe those who were "erased" will come back at some point. One of my friends made a good point: "This is what needed to happen", says Dr. Strange before he disappears. We know Strange saw 14+ million possible futures, only one in which the Avengers beat Thanos.
Is Strange's comment a clue? Will Infinity War Part 2 bring back many of these characters (maybe similar to Coulson)? Or will more characters bite the dust in that film?
We'll find out next May!
(P.S. Make sure you sit through ALL of the credits. Captain Marvel is teased, since it's coming out in March 2019.)
Friday, April 27, 2018
Sunday, January 7, 2018
2017 Reflections
2017 has been a tumultuous year. Anyone reading headlines or with any connection to a social media platform can tell you this. I don't think many of us have been unaffected by the past year in one way or another. For me, it was chaotic in different ways. Some were good chaotic moments, like starting a new job. Others, not as great-like the stress of job searching and dealing with some depression.
I want to start off with the good things though. The main event this past year that was good was the addition of my new niece, Charlotte Mae. Anyone who knows me knows I talk about my nieces and nephew all the time; being an Aunt is one of my favorite things! Most of you probably know that I spent the first two years of her life with my first niece Caitlin, getting to babysit her, hang out with her and my sister, and just in general be around a lot. It's the one part of my Mississippi journey I look back on with fondness, and is something I would do all over again if given the choice. Charlie Mae came into the world on August 28th. She's just the best little baby and I adore her, as I adore Caitlin and Carter. I must admit they have me wrapped around their finger(s). I spent a few days with my sister, brother-in-law and the kids about a month after Charlie's birth, and it was time so well spent.
I also started a new job. This was both good and bad-not really "bad" per se, but the road getting there was pretty difficult. For months prior to starting this new job, I had had to come to terms with some things about myself as a person and as a veterinary technician. I suffered from burn out before coming to work in Amarillo in 2016, and for a while the job change (and location change) helped tremendously. I thought that I could achieve 5+ years with my job at CAH, because their techs are utilized and expected to use the skills they've learned (imagine that!)! I enjoyed getting to stretch my abilities, learning new ones, and grow myself as an individual/technician. But after a year, I just started to feel deflated again and I could not put my finger on why. I don't want this to be a poor reflection on my bosses-I had great bosses and co workers there and there are times I miss how we worked together! Yet the cold, hard reality of veterinary technicians is this: they are overworked, underpaid, and not compensated for what they do. When I say "not compensated", I'm talking retirement, benefits, etc. that are just not available via private businesses (usually). I knew this going into the field. I knew about compassion fatigue early on-in fact, I'm pretty sure I remember having some lectures on it in my first semester of tech school. You'd be a fool not to have your eyes wide open going into this type of career! Many people develop this idea of what they think it'd be like and they're usually far off the mark of reality. It's not all puppies and kittens-it's often cursing/angry clients, difficult conversations about money, diagnoses, and treatments; it's long hours and the reality that you just can't save every animal that walks through your doors, even if you spend hours, time and effort on them to help! I will say, not all clients are difficult, but some of them I think unknowingly make our jobs difficult because of their attitudes, comments, etc. But the majority of our clients were awesome and they would treat us well because we treated their pets and them well.
However, I was tired. Tired of caring. Tired of having to bite my tongue when a client would denigrate me for sticking to my hospital's or doctors' policies. Tired of always feeling like I was never good enough for a client, or feeling like a failure when a mistake was made, even if it didn't result in any damage to the client or animal. Probably the most telling moment when I realized I was not where I needed to be came in the form of a conversation with a co-worker. We were in a spot where we weren't working well together-I was primarily to blame for this. She told me, "Look, I know you're not happy here. I can tell every time you come into work." Ouch. For a day or two, I really resented that remark because I was still trying to lie to myself and say, "This is just a phase; I'll get through it." But after weeks of it NOT getting better, my unhappiness only getting worse, and yes, I fell into depression, I finally had to admit, I no longer love the career I worked so hard for. This just by itself was a difficult admission just to MYSELF. I'd wanted to work with/for animals for so long (for me), starting in 2008. I'd moved to Mississippi for heaven's sake to pursue this dream, and went to the trouble of taking a national and state technician exam, not to mention paying extra to switch my RVT to LVT. Just thinking of the time, the effort, and the money put into what I'd accomplished made me kick against even the thought of doing something else. Guys, I knew that I wouldn't be rich and famous when I pursued being a vet tech. I didn't care! It was something I was passionate about, and I could not wait to get into practice. Most of you, regardless of your field of study, know what I'm talking about. I was a crusading vet tech (as my family will testify to), and nothing could get in my way of achieving my dream. So when I looked at having to leave it, because I simply could NOT continue on, I fought. I felt like I was betraying myself, betraying those who had supported me throughout the years, betraying the people who believed in me and encouraged me to pursue this dream. That was my key emotion through all of this: BETRAYAL. How dare I consider doing something else, when all I'd wanted was what I was doing?
I've never admitted this to anybody because I brushed it off at the time. I was NOT suicidal. I never once thought how to end my life, or anything like that. But I DID wonder, "if I didn't wake up in the morning, would people even miss me? How long would it take for them to realize I'm not there? Would people even care to attend my funeral?" That's when I realized: enough is enough. I cannot keep doing this, even if choosing something else feels like betrayal. My college career had started back (ugh), so I thought I'd be spending the next 2.5 years working to get my medical laboratory technician certificate. Going back to school wasn't my ideal-I actually resisted this quite a lot because I detested the thought of going back to school. Needless to say, I'm glad my one (and hopefully final one ever!) class is over with. Back to my emotional state though-this is about the time I decided I needed to tell SOMEBODY how depressed I was. I reached out to a couple of close friends, one who is studying for Biblical counseling, to have breakfast here in town one Saturday. Being able to talk about how I was feeling, and sharing some of my personal struggles is not easy for me. Yet when I felt like I was physicallly suffocating because of my job, I knew I needed to come clean. They listened, prayed for me, and encouraged me with their own journey(s). One thing I shared with them was how apathetic I felt about absolutely everything in life. No matter what I tried, I could not care about anything or anybody around me. I hated the clients, I hated my job, I hated the animals, I hated my life. I should also mention that during all of these months, I was not walking with God the way I should have been. I'm not going to sit here and say that my emotional issues were due just to my sinful state-nor am I going to claim that my emotional issues could be resolved WITHOUT the God I serve. I believe there is a place for medical doctors to step in and help, and I believe that God is the Great Physician over all. However, I also firmly believe that sin can come between us and God, and it can hurt us tremendously. Sin wrecking lives is evident in present day and throughout history.
In summary, the things that were dragging me down were: a) state of my finances-when you worry about whether or not you can pay your rent every month because your hours are less than they were last month, this stresses you out incredibly. And when you never know how many hours you'll be scheduled, you never know how much your paychecks are going to be. B) losing my healthcare at the beginning of the year because I was turning 26 and my parents couldn't carry me on theirs after January 1. Yeah. I could NOT afford any health insurance on my previous salary. C) my own sinfulness-I had disregarded my line of communication with God through neglecting Bible study and praying; once I realized how far I'd strayed, God has been working to restore me to a faithful state to Him. This is one reason I pursued getting into a Bible study through my church, I needed some help getting back into studying the Word and searching for the answers in that instead of in myself (which is what I had resorted to, in all honesty). D) A new job. My classmates in tech school could probably tell you that I was going to be the last person EVER to work in a laboratory setting. I used to think it would be so boring to work in a lab, not getting one-on-one interaction with animals, etc. (my passion was food animal/cattle, and when this was taken away from me at a job I really believe this is when this cycle started). Now, I work in a [veterinary] diagnostic laboratory and I really like it. I have a long, long ways to go before I'm even close to being proficient in everything, but I feel like I've come a ways just in the almost two months I've been there. Did I mention I'm also working full time with benefits, paid holidays/sick/vacation? Yep. Oh, and retirement because it's a government institution. It may not be as "exciting" as private practice, but my slight pay increase along with working full time has been a tremendous weight lifted off my shoulders. This job came at the perfect moment, when I was at the point I was ready to quit my previous one and work at Walmart until I could find something better.
I'm incredibly blessed by a church and friends who I feel love me like family. I love them like family. I can call on them if/when I need them, and as church settings go, I have never been happier than where I am right now. I want to brag on my church's staff for a second, they just have hearts for others and serving others that it's something I want to emulate. I told our worship pastor this, but he has been one of the reasons I've come back again and again to choir. He always teaches the Word, and inevitably it's always something I'm needing to hear in that moment. While we were preparing for last Easter's musical, there was one night where he had us break into groups to pray. One of the sweetest ladies I know prayed, and though she didn't realize it, she was praying for something I was going through and the feelings I was experiencing right then. I am not ashamed to say I completely broke down into tears in front of several other people. These ladies just loved on me in that moment and I knew they were praying for me. I've had people that I barely knew before last fall become some of the best people in my life. God is great, and He knows who to put in our lives so He can work through them. most of these women probably don't even know how God used them to minister to me when I was hurting. If you prayed for me, encouraged me, supported me during the last year at TBC, then THANK YOU so, so much! I love each and every one of you as my church family and as brothers/sisters in Christ.
Let me say this: my apathy and depression have not completely gone away. I struggle with them each and every day, and some days is worse than others. But I saw the warning signs of compassion fatigue and GOT OUT when I could BEFORE it got any worse. Fellow technicians, veterinarians: if you're feeling worn out, like you can't do your job any more, or you feel like you will scream if you have to step back into your job on a day to day basis, you are NOT ALONE. Please do not let pride or stubbornness get in your way of getting help. Even if you are just turning to friends outside of your work, TELL SOMEONE. I'm begging you not to be a statistic, because almost every veterinary professional knows that veterinary medicine has one of the highest rates of suicide in the nation. You are NOT turning your back on what you love or what you've loved just because you are no longer who you were in vet school. It's okay to admit that this is no longer your passion. You are not a failure, you are not inadequate, you need to make sure YOU are healthy overall, and mental/emotional health is one of the most important things you can take care of. One of the hardest things to do is to admit there is something wrong, but it's okay. If you need help, or you're feeling worn down by your job, talk to someone about it. Don't keep it bottled inside.
And most of all, if you are a Christian and you're struggling with depression/suicidal thoughts, talk to your pastor BUT also consider talking to a medical doctor. There is nothing sinful about pursuing medical help with depression. Please don't let judgmental people stop you from getting the help you need. Just remember that God is Healer, and He probably won't remove you from your circumstances, but use your circumstances to draw you closer to Him. He has never really removed me from the circumstances or made my life all roses and rainbows, but has called on me to keep trusting Him through the storms. One of the sermon series we had at our church last summer was on Psalm 23, and I was able to recently catch up on the sermon about the valley of the shadow of death. The pastor made a point I'd never considered: that the Shepherd promises to lead us through the valley of the shadow of death. "He never leads us where He hasn't already gone before." He's already been there, in that valley, and that's why He's able to lead us through it. It's also only the shadow of death-shadows can't harm you, right? It's because as Christians, Christ has already overcome the darkness-Satan still has dominion right now in this world, but ultimately, Satan is the loser in the spiritual battle being waged. Things may not get better, in fact, things will probably get worse before they get better if you're in a hard part of your life. But the great thing is, we never have to walk those hard parts alone because we're accompanied by a Savior who loved us enough to die on the cross for our sins.
THAT'S amazing grace, isn't it?!
I hope 2018 is a smoother year, but if not, I can rest in the knowledge that I know a God Who is King of the universe.
I want to start off with the good things though. The main event this past year that was good was the addition of my new niece, Charlotte Mae. Anyone who knows me knows I talk about my nieces and nephew all the time; being an Aunt is one of my favorite things! Most of you probably know that I spent the first two years of her life with my first niece Caitlin, getting to babysit her, hang out with her and my sister, and just in general be around a lot. It's the one part of my Mississippi journey I look back on with fondness, and is something I would do all over again if given the choice. Charlie Mae came into the world on August 28th. She's just the best little baby and I adore her, as I adore Caitlin and Carter. I must admit they have me wrapped around their finger(s). I spent a few days with my sister, brother-in-law and the kids about a month after Charlie's birth, and it was time so well spent.
I also started a new job. This was both good and bad-not really "bad" per se, but the road getting there was pretty difficult. For months prior to starting this new job, I had had to come to terms with some things about myself as a person and as a veterinary technician. I suffered from burn out before coming to work in Amarillo in 2016, and for a while the job change (and location change) helped tremendously. I thought that I could achieve 5+ years with my job at CAH, because their techs are utilized and expected to use the skills they've learned (imagine that!)! I enjoyed getting to stretch my abilities, learning new ones, and grow myself as an individual/technician. But after a year, I just started to feel deflated again and I could not put my finger on why. I don't want this to be a poor reflection on my bosses-I had great bosses and co workers there and there are times I miss how we worked together! Yet the cold, hard reality of veterinary technicians is this: they are overworked, underpaid, and not compensated for what they do. When I say "not compensated", I'm talking retirement, benefits, etc. that are just not available via private businesses (usually). I knew this going into the field. I knew about compassion fatigue early on-in fact, I'm pretty sure I remember having some lectures on it in my first semester of tech school. You'd be a fool not to have your eyes wide open going into this type of career! Many people develop this idea of what they think it'd be like and they're usually far off the mark of reality. It's not all puppies and kittens-it's often cursing/angry clients, difficult conversations about money, diagnoses, and treatments; it's long hours and the reality that you just can't save every animal that walks through your doors, even if you spend hours, time and effort on them to help! I will say, not all clients are difficult, but some of them I think unknowingly make our jobs difficult because of their attitudes, comments, etc. But the majority of our clients were awesome and they would treat us well because we treated their pets and them well.
However, I was tired. Tired of caring. Tired of having to bite my tongue when a client would denigrate me for sticking to my hospital's or doctors' policies. Tired of always feeling like I was never good enough for a client, or feeling like a failure when a mistake was made, even if it didn't result in any damage to the client or animal. Probably the most telling moment when I realized I was not where I needed to be came in the form of a conversation with a co-worker. We were in a spot where we weren't working well together-I was primarily to blame for this. She told me, "Look, I know you're not happy here. I can tell every time you come into work." Ouch. For a day or two, I really resented that remark because I was still trying to lie to myself and say, "This is just a phase; I'll get through it." But after weeks of it NOT getting better, my unhappiness only getting worse, and yes, I fell into depression, I finally had to admit, I no longer love the career I worked so hard for. This just by itself was a difficult admission just to MYSELF. I'd wanted to work with/for animals for so long (for me), starting in 2008. I'd moved to Mississippi for heaven's sake to pursue this dream, and went to the trouble of taking a national and state technician exam, not to mention paying extra to switch my RVT to LVT. Just thinking of the time, the effort, and the money put into what I'd accomplished made me kick against even the thought of doing something else. Guys, I knew that I wouldn't be rich and famous when I pursued being a vet tech. I didn't care! It was something I was passionate about, and I could not wait to get into practice. Most of you, regardless of your field of study, know what I'm talking about. I was a crusading vet tech (as my family will testify to), and nothing could get in my way of achieving my dream. So when I looked at having to leave it, because I simply could NOT continue on, I fought. I felt like I was betraying myself, betraying those who had supported me throughout the years, betraying the people who believed in me and encouraged me to pursue this dream. That was my key emotion through all of this: BETRAYAL. How dare I consider doing something else, when all I'd wanted was what I was doing?
I've never admitted this to anybody because I brushed it off at the time. I was NOT suicidal. I never once thought how to end my life, or anything like that. But I DID wonder, "if I didn't wake up in the morning, would people even miss me? How long would it take for them to realize I'm not there? Would people even care to attend my funeral?" That's when I realized: enough is enough. I cannot keep doing this, even if choosing something else feels like betrayal. My college career had started back (ugh), so I thought I'd be spending the next 2.5 years working to get my medical laboratory technician certificate. Going back to school wasn't my ideal-I actually resisted this quite a lot because I detested the thought of going back to school. Needless to say, I'm glad my one (and hopefully final one ever!) class is over with. Back to my emotional state though-this is about the time I decided I needed to tell SOMEBODY how depressed I was. I reached out to a couple of close friends, one who is studying for Biblical counseling, to have breakfast here in town one Saturday. Being able to talk about how I was feeling, and sharing some of my personal struggles is not easy for me. Yet when I felt like I was physicallly suffocating because of my job, I knew I needed to come clean. They listened, prayed for me, and encouraged me with their own journey(s). One thing I shared with them was how apathetic I felt about absolutely everything in life. No matter what I tried, I could not care about anything or anybody around me. I hated the clients, I hated my job, I hated the animals, I hated my life. I should also mention that during all of these months, I was not walking with God the way I should have been. I'm not going to sit here and say that my emotional issues were due just to my sinful state-nor am I going to claim that my emotional issues could be resolved WITHOUT the God I serve. I believe there is a place for medical doctors to step in and help, and I believe that God is the Great Physician over all. However, I also firmly believe that sin can come between us and God, and it can hurt us tremendously. Sin wrecking lives is evident in present day and throughout history.
In summary, the things that were dragging me down were: a) state of my finances-when you worry about whether or not you can pay your rent every month because your hours are less than they were last month, this stresses you out incredibly. And when you never know how many hours you'll be scheduled, you never know how much your paychecks are going to be. B) losing my healthcare at the beginning of the year because I was turning 26 and my parents couldn't carry me on theirs after January 1. Yeah. I could NOT afford any health insurance on my previous salary. C) my own sinfulness-I had disregarded my line of communication with God through neglecting Bible study and praying; once I realized how far I'd strayed, God has been working to restore me to a faithful state to Him. This is one reason I pursued getting into a Bible study through my church, I needed some help getting back into studying the Word and searching for the answers in that instead of in myself (which is what I had resorted to, in all honesty). D) A new job. My classmates in tech school could probably tell you that I was going to be the last person EVER to work in a laboratory setting. I used to think it would be so boring to work in a lab, not getting one-on-one interaction with animals, etc. (my passion was food animal/cattle, and when this was taken away from me at a job I really believe this is when this cycle started). Now, I work in a [veterinary] diagnostic laboratory and I really like it. I have a long, long ways to go before I'm even close to being proficient in everything, but I feel like I've come a ways just in the almost two months I've been there. Did I mention I'm also working full time with benefits, paid holidays/sick/vacation? Yep. Oh, and retirement because it's a government institution. It may not be as "exciting" as private practice, but my slight pay increase along with working full time has been a tremendous weight lifted off my shoulders. This job came at the perfect moment, when I was at the point I was ready to quit my previous one and work at Walmart until I could find something better.
I'm incredibly blessed by a church and friends who I feel love me like family. I love them like family. I can call on them if/when I need them, and as church settings go, I have never been happier than where I am right now. I want to brag on my church's staff for a second, they just have hearts for others and serving others that it's something I want to emulate. I told our worship pastor this, but he has been one of the reasons I've come back again and again to choir. He always teaches the Word, and inevitably it's always something I'm needing to hear in that moment. While we were preparing for last Easter's musical, there was one night where he had us break into groups to pray. One of the sweetest ladies I know prayed, and though she didn't realize it, she was praying for something I was going through and the feelings I was experiencing right then. I am not ashamed to say I completely broke down into tears in front of several other people. These ladies just loved on me in that moment and I knew they were praying for me. I've had people that I barely knew before last fall become some of the best people in my life. God is great, and He knows who to put in our lives so He can work through them. most of these women probably don't even know how God used them to minister to me when I was hurting. If you prayed for me, encouraged me, supported me during the last year at TBC, then THANK YOU so, so much! I love each and every one of you as my church family and as brothers/sisters in Christ.
Let me say this: my apathy and depression have not completely gone away. I struggle with them each and every day, and some days is worse than others. But I saw the warning signs of compassion fatigue and GOT OUT when I could BEFORE it got any worse. Fellow technicians, veterinarians: if you're feeling worn out, like you can't do your job any more, or you feel like you will scream if you have to step back into your job on a day to day basis, you are NOT ALONE. Please do not let pride or stubbornness get in your way of getting help. Even if you are just turning to friends outside of your work, TELL SOMEONE. I'm begging you not to be a statistic, because almost every veterinary professional knows that veterinary medicine has one of the highest rates of suicide in the nation. You are NOT turning your back on what you love or what you've loved just because you are no longer who you were in vet school. It's okay to admit that this is no longer your passion. You are not a failure, you are not inadequate, you need to make sure YOU are healthy overall, and mental/emotional health is one of the most important things you can take care of. One of the hardest things to do is to admit there is something wrong, but it's okay. If you need help, or you're feeling worn down by your job, talk to someone about it. Don't keep it bottled inside.
And most of all, if you are a Christian and you're struggling with depression/suicidal thoughts, talk to your pastor BUT also consider talking to a medical doctor. There is nothing sinful about pursuing medical help with depression. Please don't let judgmental people stop you from getting the help you need. Just remember that God is Healer, and He probably won't remove you from your circumstances, but use your circumstances to draw you closer to Him. He has never really removed me from the circumstances or made my life all roses and rainbows, but has called on me to keep trusting Him through the storms. One of the sermon series we had at our church last summer was on Psalm 23, and I was able to recently catch up on the sermon about the valley of the shadow of death. The pastor made a point I'd never considered: that the Shepherd promises to lead us through the valley of the shadow of death. "He never leads us where He hasn't already gone before." He's already been there, in that valley, and that's why He's able to lead us through it. It's also only the shadow of death-shadows can't harm you, right? It's because as Christians, Christ has already overcome the darkness-Satan still has dominion right now in this world, but ultimately, Satan is the loser in the spiritual battle being waged. Things may not get better, in fact, things will probably get worse before they get better if you're in a hard part of your life. But the great thing is, we never have to walk those hard parts alone because we're accompanied by a Savior who loved us enough to die on the cross for our sins.
THAT'S amazing grace, isn't it?!
I hope 2018 is a smoother year, but if not, I can rest in the knowledge that I know a God Who is King of the universe.
Friday, November 24, 2017
"The Man Who Invented Christmas" is Charming! (Review: SPOILERS)
Okay, my title might be a little corny, but if you know me you know I can be a little corny at times. As the title states, this post will be a brief review of the recently released film, "The Man Who Invented Christmas", starring Dan Stevens and Christopher Plummer. I'll start off by saying I'm probably a little biased towards this film; ever since I read "A Christmas Carol" in January 2010, I've been in love with the story itself. The 2009 Jim Carrey version only fueled my newfound love. I grew up watching the George C. Scott version every year (one of my dad's favorites!), and even though it takes some liberties I don't care for, I've come to love it along with the animated version. I read the book each year on Christmas Eve (yes, it CAN be done! There's only 5 chapters!), though sometimes I save chapter 5 for Christmas Day.
So you can imagine that I was rather intrigued when I heard about a biopic about its author Charles Dickens. I didn't hear about it until fairly recently, and while I was home for Thanksgiving this week I showed my parents the trailer. My dad is like me, he enjoys "A Christmas Carol" and was looking forward to seeing the film also. So we came to the conclusion that after our Black Friday shopping we needed to see this film. I'm so glad we did! I only know some about Dickens' life and his inspiration for writing the book. Focus on the Family published a great biography in the front of "A Christmas Carol" that I read in 2010-another great part of this version is it includes footnotes which explain and de-Victorianize some phrases/context mentioned in the text, making it more understandable and relatable. But I digress. My dad, after seeing the trailer, downloaded the book "The Man Who Invented Christmas" which is what this film is based off of. I ordered it from Barnes and Noble just today and I'm looking forward to reading the book!
Back to the film itself: I've been skeptical about Dan Stevens ever since he left Downton Abbey. Okay, I know: he's an actor and felt like he needed to do something else after 3 seasons. I get it. I've gotten over it...I guess. Matthew was and is still one of my favorite characters from the show. I've only seen him in 3 things outside of DA: Night at the Museum 3 (which was awful all around), Beauty and the Beast (um, just no?), and this film. Out of the 3, this has been his best non DA performance so far for me. The comedy, depth of emotion, and light heartedness that he approached this role with is, well...charming! I couldn't help but fall in love with Dickens throughout the film (the fact that Stevens is easy on the eyes probably helped with this). I just thoroughly enjoyed Dan's portrayal of Dickens, whether it was accurate to him or not. Christopher Plummer as Scrooge also did not disappoint-am I the only one who wishes we could get A Christmas Carol movie with him as Scrooge? While I'm fairly certain that they took some license with Dickens' life, and possibly even downplayed some of the hardships he faced personally, I think you walk away from this film with the same feeling after watching A Christmas Carol-your spirits are lifted (no pun intended) and you leave feeling hopeful. The supporting cast for this film were delightful as well. Whether accurate or not, you could see how these different characters and elements inspired Dickens as he wrote "A Christmas Carol" in 6 weeks.
If you're looking to take your young kids to see it: it's not going to pique their interest. There's a lot of talking, story formation, etc. that will likely bore them to tears. This would be great for older kids (12+) who can appreciate the humor and the heart behind the film. Regardless, it's an enjoyable family friendly film that can be enjoyed by young and old alike. According to my dad, he would have been lost without having read the source material first; it would be a good idea to read "The Man Who Invented Christmas" in addition to "A Christmas Carol" (they obviously reference dialogue, scenes, and elements!), but certainly go see it even if you haven't read either.
Rating: 4.5/5 stars (MPAA rating is PG)
So you can imagine that I was rather intrigued when I heard about a biopic about its author Charles Dickens. I didn't hear about it until fairly recently, and while I was home for Thanksgiving this week I showed my parents the trailer. My dad is like me, he enjoys "A Christmas Carol" and was looking forward to seeing the film also. So we came to the conclusion that after our Black Friday shopping we needed to see this film. I'm so glad we did! I only know some about Dickens' life and his inspiration for writing the book. Focus on the Family published a great biography in the front of "A Christmas Carol" that I read in 2010-another great part of this version is it includes footnotes which explain and de-Victorianize some phrases/context mentioned in the text, making it more understandable and relatable. But I digress. My dad, after seeing the trailer, downloaded the book "The Man Who Invented Christmas" which is what this film is based off of. I ordered it from Barnes and Noble just today and I'm looking forward to reading the book!
Back to the film itself: I've been skeptical about Dan Stevens ever since he left Downton Abbey. Okay, I know: he's an actor and felt like he needed to do something else after 3 seasons. I get it. I've gotten over it...I guess. Matthew was and is still one of my favorite characters from the show. I've only seen him in 3 things outside of DA: Night at the Museum 3 (which was awful all around), Beauty and the Beast (um, just no?), and this film. Out of the 3, this has been his best non DA performance so far for me. The comedy, depth of emotion, and light heartedness that he approached this role with is, well...charming! I couldn't help but fall in love with Dickens throughout the film (the fact that Stevens is easy on the eyes probably helped with this). I just thoroughly enjoyed Dan's portrayal of Dickens, whether it was accurate to him or not. Christopher Plummer as Scrooge also did not disappoint-am I the only one who wishes we could get A Christmas Carol movie with him as Scrooge? While I'm fairly certain that they took some license with Dickens' life, and possibly even downplayed some of the hardships he faced personally, I think you walk away from this film with the same feeling after watching A Christmas Carol-your spirits are lifted (no pun intended) and you leave feeling hopeful. The supporting cast for this film were delightful as well. Whether accurate or not, you could see how these different characters and elements inspired Dickens as he wrote "A Christmas Carol" in 6 weeks.
If you're looking to take your young kids to see it: it's not going to pique their interest. There's a lot of talking, story formation, etc. that will likely bore them to tears. This would be great for older kids (12+) who can appreciate the humor and the heart behind the film. Regardless, it's an enjoyable family friendly film that can be enjoyed by young and old alike. According to my dad, he would have been lost without having read the source material first; it would be a good idea to read "The Man Who Invented Christmas" in addition to "A Christmas Carol" (they obviously reference dialogue, scenes, and elements!), but certainly go see it even if you haven't read either.
Rating: 4.5/5 stars (MPAA rating is PG)
Sunday, June 25, 2017
Falls Creek 2017, "Remnant"
Facebook doesn't allow for great blog posts. Or if it does, I haven't found that feature yet. But what do I care? I don't blog enough to notice! However I do feel like I need to spend just one post on something that happened this past week.
It's a little thing called Falls Creek.
Some of you may be completely unaware, but Falls Creek is nestled in the Arbuckle Mountains in Oklahoma, less than 30 miles from Ardmore and 10 miles from Davis. If you've heard of Turner Falls, it's in the same general area. Falls Creek was begun in 1917 by two men who wanted to create a Baptist youth camp for Oklahoma. There were so many little "falls" in the creeks that they named the camp, "Falls Creek" and thus 100 years of incredible, life-changing summers was begun. It's a special and unique place, because every church has to bring their own food and supplies and cook their own meals. Most camps you go to provide your food for you cafeteria style, but not Falls Creek. No, it's very different. You feel very isolated, yet you don't have to go far to reach a busy interstate (I-35). It's THE largest Baptist youth camp in the world and if I'm not mistaken, THE largest Christian youth camp in the world. THE WORLD. How incredible is that? For 8 weeks during the summer (this excludes their children's camps, Indian Falls Creek, and any other camps or gatherings they may have), they see upwards of 6,000 people PER WEEK. It blows my mind every year I go and see how many people flock to the Creek for camp. And the week we go is only a small part of the entire summer.
But why is it so special? It's all of the things above: the atmosphere, the people, the legacy, and the history. But for me, it's special in another couple of ways. First, I literally grew up going to Falls Creek every year, starting when I was about 5. My family and I have been part of Falls Creek for a whopping 1/5 of its existence (20 years for all you math majors out there!). We've been really an insignificant part of its existence if you think about it. But we've been part of it! I remember when I was little, or at least a little younger, going to the old tabernacle every day for worship services. When I say old, I mean: no air conditioning, hard wooden benches, flooding down the aisles any time it rained. These kids think they're roughing it with it being so hot during the day? It's nothing compared to sweating it out during the evening services in the Tabernacle, or having to take a pillow to sit on because the benches were so uncomfortable. I remember the swimming pool that was always ice cold, and not being allowed in the creek(s) because it wasn't safe. I vaguely remember the old horseshoe pits and the old meeting areas where we'd have Bible studies. Just in the last 11 years (2006 was the end of Texas Week at Falls Creek, which was made up of exclusively Texas churches for several years), I've seen a lot of changes. The old tabernacle was torn down to make way for a larger, air-conditioned, modern tabernacle (which by the way, is super nice and I'm not complaining about having AC!), the swimming pool was also removed to make way for the tabernacle's expansion. The BB McKinney chapel no longer exists, as it was torn down to make way for a new Missions Village and Plaza. The volleyball courts and softball field were removed so that a new World Missions Center, Event Center, and amphitheater could be built in its place. And now, just this past year, the old concessions stands were taken out to make way for Centennial Plaza, that has new (and in my eyes improved) icee hut as well as a new 1917 Cafe/Gift Shop. The old gift shop that was one of my favorite places to go in camp has been converted into public restrooms. Even the ice house, where you would buy bags of ice, is no longer there. New cabins are even being built, some as large as a hotel (First Ada, I'm looking at you!). Within the last few years they even built a new lodge for visiting speakers/personnel as well as for any conferences/retreats they may have.
Falls Creek may have changed or be changing, but the purpose has never changed. The purpose has been and always will be the same: giving glory to Christ. The whole purpose of the 8 weeks (and beyond) is to point people to the Savior and to win those people to Jesus. This was never more evident than this past week in our group. We had the privilege and blessing of taking 15 young students, ranging from 7th grade to 12th grade, 10 girls and 5 guys with 6 sponsors. Monday night was Monday night, the Mike Romero band had a hard time getting everyone in the mood to worship because it's the first night of camp; it's hard to focus around the excitement. An invitation is never held on Monday night; I believe Andy Harrison (program director) explained at one time that they feel that an invitation on Monday night has too much emotion attached to it. They want decisions to be genuine, and they feel that a Monday invitation is too emotional what with all the excitement that comes with Day 1 of camp. Anyway. Tuesday-Friday were the invitation nights. I've had the privilege the last few years to serve as an Adult Encourager on the decision team; basically what they do is after a Decision Team member finishes counseling with a student or adult, they bring that person to me. As an Encourager I check the information, including the decision they're making, I literally encourage them, pray for them, then dismiss them and their DT member. Sometimes, in overwhelming response, they call on encouragers to act as those DT members to counsel someone. That was me on Tuesday night; I counseled two girls making rededication decisions. I had no idea how God was working in our own group that night. FOUR of our group made salvation decisions that night; 3 were siblings! Two brothers and one sister gave their lives over to Jesus that night. Another girl in our group also rededicated her life to Jesus. The siblings that followed Jesus, I have to say I don't think I've ever seen teenagers more hungry for the Word of God than they are/were. Their honesty at saying, "I don't understand this, can you help me understand it?" was so refreshing. We as adults need to be more open and honest about things in the Bible we don't understand.
The week went well, everyone pretty much got along with everyone else. We had a lot of first timers going, and they adapted to camp very well. We had primarily middle school students, but I so enjoyed getting to know all of our kids over the week; I didn't know most of them very well and was afraid I wouldn't be able to develop any kind of relationship with them.
We all thought that God had done something amazing in our cabin that week, something we rarely see with 4 salvations in one night. But He wasn't done at all! Friday night, our last night, I went down to the front as usual during the invitation. And I spotted a young girl from our group come down. She wasn't even a camper; her mom was one of our sponsors and this girl's sister was one of our campers. She (the girl making a decision) came with her little brother for the day, and she accepted Jesus as Lord. Needless to say I could NOT hold back my tears of joy! And to top it off, I had the privilege of being her encourager!
Falls Creek 2017 was one of the best years at camp. I can't fully explain why FC is so special to me. You go excited and come back exhausted. But it's a good kind of exhausted, especially when you have this kind of week to reflect back on. When you know that the entire purpose was to bring those 6 people to camp, what else do you need? God works all things in advance, and He's working even when we don't realize it. That was very evident this past week. God put all of us where He wanted us this week.
If you ever have a chance to go to Falls Creek yourself, I highly encourage you to. It will be a place you will not easily forget.
It's a little thing called Falls Creek.
Some of you may be completely unaware, but Falls Creek is nestled in the Arbuckle Mountains in Oklahoma, less than 30 miles from Ardmore and 10 miles from Davis. If you've heard of Turner Falls, it's in the same general area. Falls Creek was begun in 1917 by two men who wanted to create a Baptist youth camp for Oklahoma. There were so many little "falls" in the creeks that they named the camp, "Falls Creek" and thus 100 years of incredible, life-changing summers was begun. It's a special and unique place, because every church has to bring their own food and supplies and cook their own meals. Most camps you go to provide your food for you cafeteria style, but not Falls Creek. No, it's very different. You feel very isolated, yet you don't have to go far to reach a busy interstate (I-35). It's THE largest Baptist youth camp in the world and if I'm not mistaken, THE largest Christian youth camp in the world. THE WORLD. How incredible is that? For 8 weeks during the summer (this excludes their children's camps, Indian Falls Creek, and any other camps or gatherings they may have), they see upwards of 6,000 people PER WEEK. It blows my mind every year I go and see how many people flock to the Creek for camp. And the week we go is only a small part of the entire summer.
But why is it so special? It's all of the things above: the atmosphere, the people, the legacy, and the history. But for me, it's special in another couple of ways. First, I literally grew up going to Falls Creek every year, starting when I was about 5. My family and I have been part of Falls Creek for a whopping 1/5 of its existence (20 years for all you math majors out there!). We've been really an insignificant part of its existence if you think about it. But we've been part of it! I remember when I was little, or at least a little younger, going to the old tabernacle every day for worship services. When I say old, I mean: no air conditioning, hard wooden benches, flooding down the aisles any time it rained. These kids think they're roughing it with it being so hot during the day? It's nothing compared to sweating it out during the evening services in the Tabernacle, or having to take a pillow to sit on because the benches were so uncomfortable. I remember the swimming pool that was always ice cold, and not being allowed in the creek(s) because it wasn't safe. I vaguely remember the old horseshoe pits and the old meeting areas where we'd have Bible studies. Just in the last 11 years (2006 was the end of Texas Week at Falls Creek, which was made up of exclusively Texas churches for several years), I've seen a lot of changes. The old tabernacle was torn down to make way for a larger, air-conditioned, modern tabernacle (which by the way, is super nice and I'm not complaining about having AC!), the swimming pool was also removed to make way for the tabernacle's expansion. The BB McKinney chapel no longer exists, as it was torn down to make way for a new Missions Village and Plaza. The volleyball courts and softball field were removed so that a new World Missions Center, Event Center, and amphitheater could be built in its place. And now, just this past year, the old concessions stands were taken out to make way for Centennial Plaza, that has new (and in my eyes improved) icee hut as well as a new 1917 Cafe/Gift Shop. The old gift shop that was one of my favorite places to go in camp has been converted into public restrooms. Even the ice house, where you would buy bags of ice, is no longer there. New cabins are even being built, some as large as a hotel (First Ada, I'm looking at you!). Within the last few years they even built a new lodge for visiting speakers/personnel as well as for any conferences/retreats they may have.
Falls Creek may have changed or be changing, but the purpose has never changed. The purpose has been and always will be the same: giving glory to Christ. The whole purpose of the 8 weeks (and beyond) is to point people to the Savior and to win those people to Jesus. This was never more evident than this past week in our group. We had the privilege and blessing of taking 15 young students, ranging from 7th grade to 12th grade, 10 girls and 5 guys with 6 sponsors. Monday night was Monday night, the Mike Romero band had a hard time getting everyone in the mood to worship because it's the first night of camp; it's hard to focus around the excitement. An invitation is never held on Monday night; I believe Andy Harrison (program director) explained at one time that they feel that an invitation on Monday night has too much emotion attached to it. They want decisions to be genuine, and they feel that a Monday invitation is too emotional what with all the excitement that comes with Day 1 of camp. Anyway. Tuesday-Friday were the invitation nights. I've had the privilege the last few years to serve as an Adult Encourager on the decision team; basically what they do is after a Decision Team member finishes counseling with a student or adult, they bring that person to me. As an Encourager I check the information, including the decision they're making, I literally encourage them, pray for them, then dismiss them and their DT member. Sometimes, in overwhelming response, they call on encouragers to act as those DT members to counsel someone. That was me on Tuesday night; I counseled two girls making rededication decisions. I had no idea how God was working in our own group that night. FOUR of our group made salvation decisions that night; 3 were siblings! Two brothers and one sister gave their lives over to Jesus that night. Another girl in our group also rededicated her life to Jesus. The siblings that followed Jesus, I have to say I don't think I've ever seen teenagers more hungry for the Word of God than they are/were. Their honesty at saying, "I don't understand this, can you help me understand it?" was so refreshing. We as adults need to be more open and honest about things in the Bible we don't understand.
The week went well, everyone pretty much got along with everyone else. We had a lot of first timers going, and they adapted to camp very well. We had primarily middle school students, but I so enjoyed getting to know all of our kids over the week; I didn't know most of them very well and was afraid I wouldn't be able to develop any kind of relationship with them.
We all thought that God had done something amazing in our cabin that week, something we rarely see with 4 salvations in one night. But He wasn't done at all! Friday night, our last night, I went down to the front as usual during the invitation. And I spotted a young girl from our group come down. She wasn't even a camper; her mom was one of our sponsors and this girl's sister was one of our campers. She (the girl making a decision) came with her little brother for the day, and she accepted Jesus as Lord. Needless to say I could NOT hold back my tears of joy! And to top it off, I had the privilege of being her encourager!
Falls Creek 2017 was one of the best years at camp. I can't fully explain why FC is so special to me. You go excited and come back exhausted. But it's a good kind of exhausted, especially when you have this kind of week to reflect back on. When you know that the entire purpose was to bring those 6 people to camp, what else do you need? God works all things in advance, and He's working even when we don't realize it. That was very evident this past week. God put all of us where He wanted us this week.
If you ever have a chance to go to Falls Creek yourself, I highly encourage you to. It will be a place you will not easily forget.
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
Star Wars: The Force Awakens Review [WARNING: SPOILERS!]
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a nerd. I get giddy when I see or hear anything Star Wars/Star Trek/Hunger Games/Marvel related. When I pass by Star Wars toys in Wal-mart or other stores, I have a hard time just walking by without at least looking. I own all 6 Star Wars films, all but one season of The Clone Wars, several books and items of clothing, and even some jewelry that reflects my passion for Star Wars. I've been a fan since at least 2004, though I didn't see any of the films until late 2005/early 2006. So to say that I was excited when news of a new trilogy hit the internet is a major understatement. When the first teaser hit YouTube, I watched it 20 times (maybe more). I was a bit skeptical at the thought of J.J. Abrams tinkering with another of my favorite universes, but hearing that he was an avid fan helped allay my fears a little (he's admitted to not even liking Star Trek!).
My birthday was this past Friday, and two good friends of mine wanted to see the film with me. It also worked out since I'm leaving for Amarillo to start a new job soon and who knows when we'll get to visit together again! Anyway, I was VERY excited for Sunday afternoon because it not only marked the first time I ever would see a Star Wars film IN theaters, it was part of a historic film moment (after all, this film shattered records all over the place!).
As the title states, this review will be chock full of spoilers, so if you haven't seen the film yet, stop reading NOW! I also will start with a disclaimer: these are my opinions ONLY. I'm very set in my opinions sometimes, and arguing does nothing. I don't mind differing opinion(s), but arguing doesn't accomplish anything. That said, here we go:
First, there were several things about this movie that I loved. I LOVED BB8. Who wouldn't? How could you not love a droid that gave almost the same quality performance as its human co-stars? I confessed to a friend of mine that I think I love him *almost* more than R2D2. I also have to give kudos to J.J. for being adamant about practical effects (like character suits). It gave the film a more old-trilogy feel, something I think turned people off about the prequel trilogy (incidentally, the overuse of CGI and digital effects is what tainted the Hobbit trilogy, IMO). I also loved Han Solo's return. He's a favorite of mine though, so I could be biased. The return of some characters, however, was more lackluster. C-3PO, for instance. I had hoped (though maybe it'll be explained in Episode 8) that there would be an explanation as to why he has a red arm. I mean, why? That is going to bother me until the question is answered!
I liked/loved Poe, but I really thought he'd get a little more screen time than he did. For the brief time we saw him unmasked, Kylo Ren. I almost refuse to 'love' a villain, but Adam Driver did such a fantastic job it's hard not to notice it or to like it. The 'twist' that he's really Han Solo and Leia's son wasn't much of a shocker to me; as the movie started and we met him for the first time, I had an inkling that he was related to either Luke or Leia (especially emphasized by the fact about his confrontation with the old man he killed in the beginning of the film). Maybe it was just me, but he seemed to be a mixture of Anakin Skywalker (pre-Darth Vader/pre-suit) and Darth Maul (post-Naboo duel); not quite fully evil at times, but also not fully grounded in reality. I liked how the film also touched on the issue of the stormtroopers vs. the clones. Stormtroopers are NOT the same as clone troopers, which is something I only discovered recently. It was slipped in in a way that I think the avid fans would have noticed, and the casual fan might have missed. Kudos to whoever made sure that made it in the film. And Andy Serkis? How does he manage to not sound anything like himself or any character he's played? If I hadn't known he was in the film, I probably would not have pegged him as Supreme Leader Snoke.
As for the other two new characters, Rey and Finn....I liked them. I was surprised that Rey turned out to be Force sensitive. All of the teasers and promos have pointed to Finn as the Jedi protege, not Rey. The twist in that was certainly surprising, and it was honestly refreshing to see a woman front and center wielding a lightsaber in a live-action film. I love Ahsoka Tano, but let's face it: she's a cartoon character and for a lot of fans, she doesn't exist. She's not canonical (even though it's been declared by Lucasfilm that she is). We have rarely seen a woman pick up a lightsaber and flat out kick someone's butt in these films. We've seen Leia and Padme pick up blasters, and in the background we've seen some women wield sabers, but a woman in the limelight? This was a first!
Also, though I missed a great deal of it, I know that Matt Lanter and James Arnold Taylor voiced characters/creatures in the film. Matt and James play the Clone Wars versions of Anakin and Obi-Wan, respectively; I think it was a great gesture to include them in this film (in whatever way they were involved). Also Ewan McGregor was included, but I am sad to say I completely missed hearing his voice, thinking it was Alec Guinness!
And, now....on to the things I disliked/hated (I do realized some of the things I address are now not considered canon by Lucasfilm, but I'll get to that at the end).
Leia is not a Jedi. Ugh. I'm not a big fan of the EU, as I haven't delved too deeply into it, but Leia is a Jedi. It's been an established fact for YEARS. Especially considering the whole, "there is another Skywalker" thing from ROTJ, she should have been made a Jedi, or at least something about her Jedi training mentioned in the film. She is NOT just a princess, or a diplomat, or a general. She. Is. A. Jedi.
Are Leia and Han even married? They married in the books (and had 3 children, btw), but there is no mention of their marriage in the film. It's basically implied that they had a fling, through which was produced Kylo Ren/Ben Solo, and then they went their own way. This lack of mentioning any kind of serious relationship, I think, takes away from what makes Han and Leia special. Yes, they bicker. No, they don't agree on much. But the Han and Leia of ROTJ would have married. Maybe not stayed married as in the books, but they would have gotten married.
Kylo Ren=Ben Solo. I had a discussion about this with a friend the day I saw the film. Ben Solo exists nowhere in the Star Wars universe, EU or otherwise. Ben SKYWALKER exists, but as the son of Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade (who makes no appearance at all in the film). Jacen and Jaina Solo (twins) and Anakin Solo are the only children Han/Leia ever had. Jacen became a dark lord of the Sith, killing Mara, and Jaina became a Jedi (I don't remember about Anakin). Where was Mara? Are we to believe that Luke re-instituted the old-Jedi code of no attachments? This goes way against what was established in the books. Luke abolished that code and the new Jedi order allowed romantic attachments. Granted, Mara dies, so maybe they did marry and we'll hear mention of her in the next film....or even see her in flashbacks. But, doubtful, so I'm going to put it here for good measure.
Han Solo died. Yep. Han Solo died. His son killed him. I fully expected Chewbacca to die, but was not expecting Han until he walked out onto that bridge with Kylo. I mean seriously, could anyone NOT see that one coming at that point? Needless to say, I'm miffed over that. Looks like Harrison finally got his wish of Han getting killed off.
I disliked Jakku. Tattoine is synonymous with Star Wars. Why introduce another desert planet that will only confuse newcomers to the universe? Maybe they were trying to establish that there were multiples of planets with similar environments, but I didn't like the desert aspect. Too similar to previous films, IMO.
How the heck did Maz get Luke's lightsaber from Empire? It fell down a shaft last we knew, along with his hand. I hate ambiguous things like that.
Rey and the lightsaber. *sigh* I'm all for suspending disbelief, but am I really to believe that this girl, who had never touched a real weapon before in her life, could suddenly pick up a lightsaber and basically defeat Kylo Ren? I know she's evidently strong in the Force (we're lead to assume anyway), but nobody just knows how to pick a lightsaber up and wield it. For someone who wasn't even sure that the Force/the Jedi existed, she certainly didn't need much training to learn how to wield it.
And the lens flares. Not a single one was in sight. What gives, J.J.?
Oh, wait. I LIKED that there was not a single lens flare in this film. See, it *is* possible to make a movie and not blind your audience at every turn! :)
Rating: 7/10
Bottom line: Worth seeing if you're a Star Wars fan. If you're new to the universe, I'd pass on this and start with the original trilogy first.
My birthday was this past Friday, and two good friends of mine wanted to see the film with me. It also worked out since I'm leaving for Amarillo to start a new job soon and who knows when we'll get to visit together again! Anyway, I was VERY excited for Sunday afternoon because it not only marked the first time I ever would see a Star Wars film IN theaters, it was part of a historic film moment (after all, this film shattered records all over the place!).
As the title states, this review will be chock full of spoilers, so if you haven't seen the film yet, stop reading NOW! I also will start with a disclaimer: these are my opinions ONLY. I'm very set in my opinions sometimes, and arguing does nothing. I don't mind differing opinion(s), but arguing doesn't accomplish anything. That said, here we go:
First, there were several things about this movie that I loved. I LOVED BB8. Who wouldn't? How could you not love a droid that gave almost the same quality performance as its human co-stars? I confessed to a friend of mine that I think I love him *almost* more than R2D2. I also have to give kudos to J.J. for being adamant about practical effects (like character suits). It gave the film a more old-trilogy feel, something I think turned people off about the prequel trilogy (incidentally, the overuse of CGI and digital effects is what tainted the Hobbit trilogy, IMO). I also loved Han Solo's return. He's a favorite of mine though, so I could be biased. The return of some characters, however, was more lackluster. C-3PO, for instance. I had hoped (though maybe it'll be explained in Episode 8) that there would be an explanation as to why he has a red arm. I mean, why? That is going to bother me until the question is answered!
I liked/loved Poe, but I really thought he'd get a little more screen time than he did. For the brief time we saw him unmasked, Kylo Ren. I almost refuse to 'love' a villain, but Adam Driver did such a fantastic job it's hard not to notice it or to like it. The 'twist' that he's really Han Solo and Leia's son wasn't much of a shocker to me; as the movie started and we met him for the first time, I had an inkling that he was related to either Luke or Leia (especially emphasized by the fact about his confrontation with the old man he killed in the beginning of the film). Maybe it was just me, but he seemed to be a mixture of Anakin Skywalker (pre-Darth Vader/pre-suit) and Darth Maul (post-Naboo duel); not quite fully evil at times, but also not fully grounded in reality. I liked how the film also touched on the issue of the stormtroopers vs. the clones. Stormtroopers are NOT the same as clone troopers, which is something I only discovered recently. It was slipped in in a way that I think the avid fans would have noticed, and the casual fan might have missed. Kudos to whoever made sure that made it in the film. And Andy Serkis? How does he manage to not sound anything like himself or any character he's played? If I hadn't known he was in the film, I probably would not have pegged him as Supreme Leader Snoke.
As for the other two new characters, Rey and Finn....I liked them. I was surprised that Rey turned out to be Force sensitive. All of the teasers and promos have pointed to Finn as the Jedi protege, not Rey. The twist in that was certainly surprising, and it was honestly refreshing to see a woman front and center wielding a lightsaber in a live-action film. I love Ahsoka Tano, but let's face it: she's a cartoon character and for a lot of fans, she doesn't exist. She's not canonical (even though it's been declared by Lucasfilm that she is). We have rarely seen a woman pick up a lightsaber and flat out kick someone's butt in these films. We've seen Leia and Padme pick up blasters, and in the background we've seen some women wield sabers, but a woman in the limelight? This was a first!
Also, though I missed a great deal of it, I know that Matt Lanter and James Arnold Taylor voiced characters/creatures in the film. Matt and James play the Clone Wars versions of Anakin and Obi-Wan, respectively; I think it was a great gesture to include them in this film (in whatever way they were involved). Also Ewan McGregor was included, but I am sad to say I completely missed hearing his voice, thinking it was Alec Guinness!
And, now....on to the things I disliked/hated (I do realized some of the things I address are now not considered canon by Lucasfilm, but I'll get to that at the end).
Leia is not a Jedi. Ugh. I'm not a big fan of the EU, as I haven't delved too deeply into it, but Leia is a Jedi. It's been an established fact for YEARS. Especially considering the whole, "there is another Skywalker" thing from ROTJ, she should have been made a Jedi, or at least something about her Jedi training mentioned in the film. She is NOT just a princess, or a diplomat, or a general. She. Is. A. Jedi.
Are Leia and Han even married? They married in the books (and had 3 children, btw), but there is no mention of their marriage in the film. It's basically implied that they had a fling, through which was produced Kylo Ren/Ben Solo, and then they went their own way. This lack of mentioning any kind of serious relationship, I think, takes away from what makes Han and Leia special. Yes, they bicker. No, they don't agree on much. But the Han and Leia of ROTJ would have married. Maybe not stayed married as in the books, but they would have gotten married.
Kylo Ren=Ben Solo. I had a discussion about this with a friend the day I saw the film. Ben Solo exists nowhere in the Star Wars universe, EU or otherwise. Ben SKYWALKER exists, but as the son of Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade (who makes no appearance at all in the film). Jacen and Jaina Solo (twins) and Anakin Solo are the only children Han/Leia ever had. Jacen became a dark lord of the Sith, killing Mara, and Jaina became a Jedi (I don't remember about Anakin). Where was Mara? Are we to believe that Luke re-instituted the old-Jedi code of no attachments? This goes way against what was established in the books. Luke abolished that code and the new Jedi order allowed romantic attachments. Granted, Mara dies, so maybe they did marry and we'll hear mention of her in the next film....or even see her in flashbacks. But, doubtful, so I'm going to put it here for good measure.
Han Solo died. Yep. Han Solo died. His son killed him. I fully expected Chewbacca to die, but was not expecting Han until he walked out onto that bridge with Kylo. I mean seriously, could anyone NOT see that one coming at that point? Needless to say, I'm miffed over that. Looks like Harrison finally got his wish of Han getting killed off.
I disliked Jakku. Tattoine is synonymous with Star Wars. Why introduce another desert planet that will only confuse newcomers to the universe? Maybe they were trying to establish that there were multiples of planets with similar environments, but I didn't like the desert aspect. Too similar to previous films, IMO.
How the heck did Maz get Luke's lightsaber from Empire? It fell down a shaft last we knew, along with his hand. I hate ambiguous things like that.
Rey and the lightsaber. *sigh* I'm all for suspending disbelief, but am I really to believe that this girl, who had never touched a real weapon before in her life, could suddenly pick up a lightsaber and basically defeat Kylo Ren? I know she's evidently strong in the Force (we're lead to assume anyway), but nobody just knows how to pick a lightsaber up and wield it. For someone who wasn't even sure that the Force/the Jedi existed, she certainly didn't need much training to learn how to wield it.
And the lens flares. Not a single one was in sight. What gives, J.J.?
Oh, wait. I LIKED that there was not a single lens flare in this film. See, it *is* possible to make a movie and not blind your audience at every turn! :)
Rating: 7/10
Bottom line: Worth seeing if you're a Star Wars fan. If you're new to the universe, I'd pass on this and start with the original trilogy first.
Sunday, January 11, 2015
Meet Mr. Bilbo!
Recently The Battle of the Five Armies came out in theaters. It's the finale to a franchise millions of people love and some love to hate. The key character in this last trilogy is a Hobbit named Bilbo Baggins. So as you might guess, Hobbits, Elves, and Dwarves were all kind of on my mind when I was introduced to this stray kitten outside church. Being the vet tech that I am, I decided to try and give him a home. So I took him to the clinic since I didn't have anything at home to take care of him with. I got him fixed, vaccinated, tested, dewormed, all that good stuff. He checked out and came to live with me right after Christmas. He's been an absolute sweetheart, with the exceptions of the times he gets a little wild and likes to play attack everything in sight. He likes to snuggle with me sometimes but only on his terms.
Bilbo was the name suggested by my boss, though I was torn between two names for him: Obi-Wan and Boba (not ashamed of this nerdy fact!). Bilbo seemed to fit him, though he still doesn't really respond when I call his name. Here's a photo of him the weekend I brought him home. He's grown just a little since then. :)
Bilbo was the name suggested by my boss, though I was torn between two names for him: Obi-Wan and Boba (not ashamed of this nerdy fact!). Bilbo seemed to fit him, though he still doesn't really respond when I call his name. Here's a photo of him the weekend I brought him home. He's grown just a little since then. :)
He's also not too fond of his collar, so his nice little blue collar has stayed off. He somehow keeps figuring out how to remove it. But I love him and he has a good personality, even though he's still learning what's right and what's wrong! As I type this he's lying in my lap in the middle of it all.
And yes, I liked Battle of the Five Armies. It may have lacked some of the character development of Lord of the Rings (an unfortunate characteristic of the entire trilogy), but it was a good film. Worth seeing if you are familiar with LotR or you have seen all the others.
Saturday, November 29, 2014
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1 (2014)
Wow. It's been a little while since I last posted a blog entry, but a lot has been going on. Since January I've been continually working at the job I started in Oct. 2013, and in March of this year I got to add "aunt to a nephew" to my list of titles. yes, my nephew Carter was born in March and is the sweetest thing ever! At the end of the summer I moved into my own house and have been faced with the ugly reality of paying more bills than I ever had in Mississippi (apartment living was actually a breeze compared to renting a house!). :) Nobody ever told me this was part of being an adult. Haha. Oh well.
Today I saw The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1 in theaters, and though yes, I did actually wait a week *gasp* to see the film, I think it was actually well worth it; I didn't have to deal with those annoying seat kickers, annoying people that will NOT shut up, or the like. It was a great theater experience. I think I'll do that more often. Be assured, this review will have plenty of spoilers, so if you haven't seen the film and would like to save yourself the trouble, I wouldn't read any further. Although, I would like to make a teensy comment unrelated to the actual film itself: is the MPAA made up of morons? Why would you rate a movie PG-13 for 'a suggestive comment'? For real? [I think the film in question was the Age of Adaline]. However it was AWESOME seeing The Hobbit trailer on the big screen in huge, beautiful digital HD. But I digress. On to the review!
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What a film. My expectations were high considering the quality of an adaptation that Catching Fire proved to be. Granted that it has been at least a year since I've read the trilogy, so I may be stretching some of my praise of the film. But first, I felt like the first half of the book was captured in the movie. Mockingjay is a very dark book, and as such has a lot of depressing moments in it. I liked that it opened with Katniss playing her 'real' game: "I'll start with what's real: my name is Katniss Everdeen. I'm from District 12. I survived the Games. Peeta was left behind/is in the Capitol", etc. This isn't how the book began, but it gave us a pretty good starting point at where Katniss is emotionally and psychologically. She's a completely shattered heroine, the tolls of being strong for those around her showing through her cracked facade. And it was a good way film-wise to include a great many pieces of the book in just one 2 minute scene [the book has a lot of little moments where Katniss completely loses her mind and has to be sedated]. So on this note, can we please just discuss Jennifer Lawrence and why she's a several times Oscar winning/nominated actress?! We've seen a steady progression of Katniss: in movie 1, she was a reluctant hero for her sister. In movie 2, she's a broken but ready to fight individual who wants to ensure Peeta survives. In Mockingjay, she's a combination of the two, more broken than willing. her accumulated personal losses have caused her a great deal of emotional damage, as evidenced in the book. In many ways, she's only a puppet for the rebellion, her strings pulled by various parties in District 13 [a fact emphasized by the numerous 3rd person mentions of Katniss while she's in the room; they talk about her as if she's not there in person]. But she has the mental faculties to make several personal demands to President Coin if she becomes the Mockingjay. She wants Peeta and the other victors freed (funny how Enobaria wasn't mentioned in that demand; wonder where she ended up), as well as wanting them to let Prim keep her cat. Jennifer does an excellent job playing this side of Katniss: at times strong, but most of the time completely lost and in pain.
Peeta. Oh Peeta. you were one reason I was dreading this movie so much! The progression of Peeta's torture was one of the things I didn't want to see, but see it we did. he starts out relatively unchanged and by the end of the film, I don't even know the character anymore. Hutcherson did a terrific job conveying all of Peeta's nuances in this film; I won't even talk about how the hate in Peeta's eyes at the end was completely believable. It'll be interesting to see how he brings Peeta to life in the next film.
Gale. I still hate the character, even though he's really not all that unlikable in the film(s). I just don't like Gale, and I still feel like he's a bit of a pansy in this installment; they should have made him tougher or something. I don't know. I didn't like his portrayal all that much. But President Coin. I know what happens to her at the end of the story but she is the one new person I dislike the most. Maybe it's BECAUSE I know what happens to her in the end, but she's just...ick. Like a two-faced snake. And in passing I'll mention some of the newcomers, Cressida, Boggs. I had my reservations about Boggs at first, but I actually really liked him. And Cressida. And the film crew (though we don't see them much at all). Part 2 will be difficult. Really difficult.
Can we also just talk about The Hanging Tree? When I first heard it, I thought, "eh". It wasn't what I pictured. But as I've listened to it, and after having seen the film, it's grown on me. It was an important song from the book, and I feel as if the filmmakers captured it in the right way. Though I would have preferred a little more build up to the song [I think I remember Katniss telling a story about it in the book], but overall it was satisfying. And while at first I disliked Lorde's "Yellow Flicker Beat", it's grown on me as well.
Music was much the same as previous films, I wasn't overwhelmed by anything.
Okay so if you've gotten this far and you STILL haven't seen the movie, I want to warn you about the ending. It's ridiculously INTENSE. I knew more or less what it would be from comments I'd read about the movie, but I didn't realize how intense it would turn out. And for all those crying about how it ended, let me remind you: the book splits pretty evenly at chapters 13 and 14. Chapter 13 ends very similarly, and since there are 27 chapters in the book (minus the epilogue), then this was an adequate place to stop. Part 2 will be hard enough with the attack on the Capitol (and everything that comes with).
Rating: 4.5/5. It's the best of the 3 so far. Go see it!
Today I saw The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1 in theaters, and though yes, I did actually wait a week *gasp* to see the film, I think it was actually well worth it; I didn't have to deal with those annoying seat kickers, annoying people that will NOT shut up, or the like. It was a great theater experience. I think I'll do that more often. Be assured, this review will have plenty of spoilers, so if you haven't seen the film and would like to save yourself the trouble, I wouldn't read any further. Although, I would like to make a teensy comment unrelated to the actual film itself: is the MPAA made up of morons? Why would you rate a movie PG-13 for 'a suggestive comment'? For real? [I think the film in question was the Age of Adaline]. However it was AWESOME seeing The Hobbit trailer on the big screen in huge, beautiful digital HD. But I digress. On to the review!
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What a film. My expectations were high considering the quality of an adaptation that Catching Fire proved to be. Granted that it has been at least a year since I've read the trilogy, so I may be stretching some of my praise of the film. But first, I felt like the first half of the book was captured in the movie. Mockingjay is a very dark book, and as such has a lot of depressing moments in it. I liked that it opened with Katniss playing her 'real' game: "I'll start with what's real: my name is Katniss Everdeen. I'm from District 12. I survived the Games. Peeta was left behind/is in the Capitol", etc. This isn't how the book began, but it gave us a pretty good starting point at where Katniss is emotionally and psychologically. She's a completely shattered heroine, the tolls of being strong for those around her showing through her cracked facade. And it was a good way film-wise to include a great many pieces of the book in just one 2 minute scene [the book has a lot of little moments where Katniss completely loses her mind and has to be sedated]. So on this note, can we please just discuss Jennifer Lawrence and why she's a several times Oscar winning/nominated actress?! We've seen a steady progression of Katniss: in movie 1, she was a reluctant hero for her sister. In movie 2, she's a broken but ready to fight individual who wants to ensure Peeta survives. In Mockingjay, she's a combination of the two, more broken than willing. her accumulated personal losses have caused her a great deal of emotional damage, as evidenced in the book. In many ways, she's only a puppet for the rebellion, her strings pulled by various parties in District 13 [a fact emphasized by the numerous 3rd person mentions of Katniss while she's in the room; they talk about her as if she's not there in person]. But she has the mental faculties to make several personal demands to President Coin if she becomes the Mockingjay. She wants Peeta and the other victors freed (funny how Enobaria wasn't mentioned in that demand; wonder where she ended up), as well as wanting them to let Prim keep her cat. Jennifer does an excellent job playing this side of Katniss: at times strong, but most of the time completely lost and in pain.
Peeta. Oh Peeta. you were one reason I was dreading this movie so much! The progression of Peeta's torture was one of the things I didn't want to see, but see it we did. he starts out relatively unchanged and by the end of the film, I don't even know the character anymore. Hutcherson did a terrific job conveying all of Peeta's nuances in this film; I won't even talk about how the hate in Peeta's eyes at the end was completely believable. It'll be interesting to see how he brings Peeta to life in the next film.
Gale. I still hate the character, even though he's really not all that unlikable in the film(s). I just don't like Gale, and I still feel like he's a bit of a pansy in this installment; they should have made him tougher or something. I don't know. I didn't like his portrayal all that much. But President Coin. I know what happens to her at the end of the story but she is the one new person I dislike the most. Maybe it's BECAUSE I know what happens to her in the end, but she's just...ick. Like a two-faced snake. And in passing I'll mention some of the newcomers, Cressida, Boggs. I had my reservations about Boggs at first, but I actually really liked him. And Cressida. And the film crew (though we don't see them much at all). Part 2 will be difficult. Really difficult.
Can we also just talk about The Hanging Tree? When I first heard it, I thought, "eh". It wasn't what I pictured. But as I've listened to it, and after having seen the film, it's grown on me. It was an important song from the book, and I feel as if the filmmakers captured it in the right way. Though I would have preferred a little more build up to the song [I think I remember Katniss telling a story about it in the book], but overall it was satisfying. And while at first I disliked Lorde's "Yellow Flicker Beat", it's grown on me as well.
Music was much the same as previous films, I wasn't overwhelmed by anything.
Okay so if you've gotten this far and you STILL haven't seen the movie, I want to warn you about the ending. It's ridiculously INTENSE. I knew more or less what it would be from comments I'd read about the movie, but I didn't realize how intense it would turn out. And for all those crying about how it ended, let me remind you: the book splits pretty evenly at chapters 13 and 14. Chapter 13 ends very similarly, and since there are 27 chapters in the book (minus the epilogue), then this was an adequate place to stop. Part 2 will be hard enough with the attack on the Capitol (and everything that comes with).
Rating: 4.5/5. It's the best of the 3 so far. Go see it!
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