(Sorry about the absence; it's been very hectic in my life with school, but I had some down time and decided to read some chapters and blog).
So chapter 3 is all about God's crazy love. Chan opens the chapter talking about how he had difficulties understanding God's love because of his relationship to his earthly father. I can honestly say, I think I've been surrounded by two of the best examples of God's fatherly love: my dad and my mom's dad. My grandfather is no longer with us, but he left an impression on me that will never be erased. He exemplified what being a responsible father and husband meant. In the same way, my dad has impacted me and continues to impact me even from a distance. I know that I can call on him for something and, if able, he'll do it. This is going off subject, but I've always maintained that if I ever begin dating while in college, or really regardless of when I date, the boy has to get my father's permission first and foremost to date me. It may seem silly or even old-fashioned, but I believe that my father knows who I should and shouldn't be dating. I love the part in Courageous (2011) where the man takes his daughter to dinner, and asks her to entrust him with her heart, and that he will pick "the very best" for her when God shows them the right one. I'm able to entrust my heart to my earthly father, but I often struggle with entrusting my heart to my heavenly Father.
Something that has been plaguing me lately is my devotion to God. I've been struggling with establishing a church home, and I find more excuses to avoid church than you can shake a stick at. Believe me, I want to find a church home, and schoolwork does interfere more often than I want it to. Unfortunately, no church is perfect. I've been praying lately that God would show me in some way where He wants me to go to church. I've found one that I basically like, the only problem with it is the schedule of the college ministry. Chan touches on the subject of "having quiet times out of guilt." This is another area in which I've been asking myself why I'm doing it. My parents bought me Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost for His Highest", and I've been reading it since November. But, I do little more than read the verse that accompanies the devotional and the devotional itself. It hardly takes me 5 minutes. I never feel like I spend much quality time with God. I was struck by some quotes from the book that apply to this area of life:
"Over time, I realized that when we love God, we naturally run to Him-frequently and zealously. Jesus didn't command that we have a regular time with Him each day."
"This is how God longs for us to respond to His extravagant, unending love: not with a cursory 'quiet time' plagued by guilt, but with true love expressed through our lives."
He isn't saying not to have a quiet time. I believe that what Chan is getting at is that we should want to spend time with God daily because of our love for Him; if you want to get to know a friend you've just met, you have to spend time with them. you want to spend time with that person because you enjoy their company/presence. I think the same thing should apply to our quiet time with God. It isn't required, but it should be desired.
I want to close with this quote from the book, because I think it is so true today:
"The irony is that while God doesn't need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don't really want Him most of the time. He treasures us and anticipates our departure from this earth to be with Him-and we wonder, indifferently, how much we have to do for Him to get by."
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Crazy Love: Chapters 1 and 2
Okay, so far these posts might be pretty short, but that's because I don't have a great deal to say right now about the book. So, here we go.
Chapter 1
This chapter opens with Chan asking, "What if I said, 'stop praying'?" Then it follows up with another question, "What if I told you to stop talking at God, but instead to take a long, hard look at Him before you speak another word?" I think I have to agree with this statement. We spend too much of our prayer lives telling God what to do instead of letting Him speak to us [I'm pointing a finger at myself here!]. I also found another statement on page 1 very true: "Our culture says anything goes; fear of God is almost unheard of." Ouch. But isn't that the case? God is mocked, and so are His followers. The best example I can think of is Tim Tebow. If it were a Muslim praising Allah, I guarantee you not ONE word would be said about what is coming out of his mouth. Thank the Lord for a person like Tebow who doesn't conform to what his peers demand, and that he is confessing His Savior in public. You may call it preachy, but I call it being true to God's instruction to confess Him before men. God will silence the mockers and the critics, in His own way and time. But enough of that; back to the book. Another point that Chan makes is that our world insists on either "ignoring or merely tolerating" Jesus. However, like Chan pointed out, God doesn't call us to tolerate Him; He commands us to worship Him and Him alone.
Later on in chapter 1, Chan says that "when I grow weary of trying to be faithful to Him and want a break, it doesn't come as a surprise to God." Since about August, I've been struggling to feel at home here in Mississippi. I've been struggling with finding a good church home/family, something I hope will be resolved in the next week or so. But you know, God knew all that when He directed me to Mississippi State. He knew I'd have a hard time, He knew I would struggle with being depressed and lonely. What I'm going through never comes as a surprise to Him. That's a comfort, especially considering that, if He knew my hard times, surely He knows about the good times and has a plan beyond the difficult spots.
Chapter 2
This chapter brings up some points that I disagree with Chan on. Namely, his statement that "worry and stress reek of arrogance." While I agree that worry is or can be the result of a lack of faith that God can provide, I disagree that stress is pure arrogance. I know this is no excuse, but I believe stress to be at least a little biological. Maybe it is due to our lack of faith at times, but I know people who are not in the least arrogant, and yet still struggle with stress. I did agree with him, though, when he said that when your life is hard, God uses it to point to Him, and that is the entire point of our lives as believers: to point to Him.
That's about all I have to say right now. will post my thoughts about Chapter 3 when I read it.
Chapter 1
This chapter opens with Chan asking, "What if I said, 'stop praying'?" Then it follows up with another question, "What if I told you to stop talking at God, but instead to take a long, hard look at Him before you speak another word?" I think I have to agree with this statement. We spend too much of our prayer lives telling God what to do instead of letting Him speak to us [I'm pointing a finger at myself here!]. I also found another statement on page 1 very true: "Our culture says anything goes; fear of God is almost unheard of." Ouch. But isn't that the case? God is mocked, and so are His followers. The best example I can think of is Tim Tebow. If it were a Muslim praising Allah, I guarantee you not ONE word would be said about what is coming out of his mouth. Thank the Lord for a person like Tebow who doesn't conform to what his peers demand, and that he is confessing His Savior in public. You may call it preachy, but I call it being true to God's instruction to confess Him before men. God will silence the mockers and the critics, in His own way and time. But enough of that; back to the book. Another point that Chan makes is that our world insists on either "ignoring or merely tolerating" Jesus. However, like Chan pointed out, God doesn't call us to tolerate Him; He commands us to worship Him and Him alone.
Later on in chapter 1, Chan says that "when I grow weary of trying to be faithful to Him and want a break, it doesn't come as a surprise to God." Since about August, I've been struggling to feel at home here in Mississippi. I've been struggling with finding a good church home/family, something I hope will be resolved in the next week or so. But you know, God knew all that when He directed me to Mississippi State. He knew I'd have a hard time, He knew I would struggle with being depressed and lonely. What I'm going through never comes as a surprise to Him. That's a comfort, especially considering that, if He knew my hard times, surely He knows about the good times and has a plan beyond the difficult spots.
Chapter 2
This chapter brings up some points that I disagree with Chan on. Namely, his statement that "worry and stress reek of arrogance." While I agree that worry is or can be the result of a lack of faith that God can provide, I disagree that stress is pure arrogance. I know this is no excuse, but I believe stress to be at least a little biological. Maybe it is due to our lack of faith at times, but I know people who are not in the least arrogant, and yet still struggle with stress. I did agree with him, though, when he said that when your life is hard, God uses it to point to Him, and that is the entire point of our lives as believers: to point to Him.
That's about all I have to say right now. will post my thoughts about Chapter 3 when I read it.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God
My best friend handed me a late Christmas/birthday present the other day: Crazy Love by Francis Chan. It's a book I've been hearing about for a while now. I just never bought a copy or bothered to look into it. I don't know yet if it's a book I'll enjoy, or even agree with. But I'm up to chapter 3, and so far, I'm in agreement with most everything he's been saying. When I return to S-ville, I plan on re-reading the first two chapters, and really take notes on what I do and don't like, and how I think about what he puts forth. Hopefully, I can convey those thoughts to this blog. Care to join me?
Friday, December 9, 2011
In Memory of W.M. Brame
*This post was created on December 6th since I had no time on the 7th to create an update; it was in reality posted on the 7th, not the 6th*. It's so hard to believe that one year ago I lost my Papaw Brame. Around Thanksgiving, I was kind of glum because I remembered last Thanksgiving, and how most of my close family was all together for the holiday. It was our last Thanksgiving with him. We crowded around Memaw's table, which was kind of new for me because since I'm older, I can now sit at the adult table and NOT the kids' card table!!! It was also interesting since her dining room is so small; but we all fit, even though we rubbed elbows a little!! Papaw was going quickly downhill then, and we all knew it was just a matter of time before God called him home.
That week, I was studying for my chemistry and algebra finals at NCTC. I remember exactly when I heard that Papaw was gone. I was in my room, studying for my chemistry final when my dad came into my room to tell me. At first, it was almost this feeling of relief, since Papaw would not have wanted to linger in pain and such. But then it was just a feeling of "he's really gone" that followed. I'll be perfectly honest, and I don't know if I've ever even shared this with my family: I had a hard time grieving. Yes, I was very sad that he was gone. Words could not and cannot describe how much I still miss him and hearing his voice on the phone. But it was almost like I was in a deep state of denial for a long time. Maybe it's because I had time to accept that he was going to die, and I was prepared for it. Whatever the reason, I still cry sometimes whenever I think about him. He recorded an interview for a WWII museum 3 years ago, and every time I listen, I can't help but cry because I miss his voice, and I miss his humor. My Papaw was probably one of the most amazing men I could ever have been blessed to know besides my dad. He was one of the most stubborn yet kind person you could hope to meet. When he talked politics, you knew EXACTLY where he stood on certain issues. When he talked God, you also knew exactly where he stood on his faith and walk with Christ. He was also loyal and faithful to my Memaw, exemplified when she had her hip surgery over a year ago.
I'll never forget witnessing this one little simple act of love when she was in the hospital recovering from her surgery. Papaw didn't want to leave her side, but we finally convinced him to go back to Skellytown for the night. But he made sure that, before he left the hospital, he kissed Memaw on the forehead and cheek. I don't remember if he told her he loved her (pretty sure he did), but just witnessing the strong bond there nearly made me choke up right then. They would have been married 60 years this last March if Papaw hadn't passed away last December. Along with my parents' example, I hope that I have a marriage that lasts at least half that time, and that at the end, the love that was there at the very beginning is still going strong at the very end. This also brings me to saying something about Memaw; she faced his death head on and refused to be coddled because she wanted to learn to be on her own. That, to me, is one of the things I admire the most about her because I really doubt I could have been that strong!
Papaw is gone, but I know it's only temporary. He is having a time in heaven, and I'm sure he and Bailey are closer than ever. I can only imagine what that reunion looked like! and as Mr. Magorium said, in a quote that I will always find to be true: "When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words."
That week, I was studying for my chemistry and algebra finals at NCTC. I remember exactly when I heard that Papaw was gone. I was in my room, studying for my chemistry final when my dad came into my room to tell me. At first, it was almost this feeling of relief, since Papaw would not have wanted to linger in pain and such. But then it was just a feeling of "he's really gone" that followed. I'll be perfectly honest, and I don't know if I've ever even shared this with my family: I had a hard time grieving. Yes, I was very sad that he was gone. Words could not and cannot describe how much I still miss him and hearing his voice on the phone. But it was almost like I was in a deep state of denial for a long time. Maybe it's because I had time to accept that he was going to die, and I was prepared for it. Whatever the reason, I still cry sometimes whenever I think about him. He recorded an interview for a WWII museum 3 years ago, and every time I listen, I can't help but cry because I miss his voice, and I miss his humor. My Papaw was probably one of the most amazing men I could ever have been blessed to know besides my dad. He was one of the most stubborn yet kind person you could hope to meet. When he talked politics, you knew EXACTLY where he stood on certain issues. When he talked God, you also knew exactly where he stood on his faith and walk with Christ. He was also loyal and faithful to my Memaw, exemplified when she had her hip surgery over a year ago.
I'll never forget witnessing this one little simple act of love when she was in the hospital recovering from her surgery. Papaw didn't want to leave her side, but we finally convinced him to go back to Skellytown for the night. But he made sure that, before he left the hospital, he kissed Memaw on the forehead and cheek. I don't remember if he told her he loved her (pretty sure he did), but just witnessing the strong bond there nearly made me choke up right then. They would have been married 60 years this last March if Papaw hadn't passed away last December. Along with my parents' example, I hope that I have a marriage that lasts at least half that time, and that at the end, the love that was there at the very beginning is still going strong at the very end. This also brings me to saying something about Memaw; she faced his death head on and refused to be coddled because she wanted to learn to be on her own. That, to me, is one of the things I admire the most about her because I really doubt I could have been that strong!
Papaw is gone, but I know it's only temporary. He is having a time in heaven, and I'm sure he and Bailey are closer than ever. I can only imagine what that reunion looked like! and as Mr. Magorium said, in a quote that I will always find to be true: "When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words."
Friday, November 4, 2011
Thanksgiving is Nearly Here!
Can you believe that Thanksgiving 2011 is nearly here?! In exactly 2 weeks from today, I'll be on my way home to spend Thanksgiving with my parents, a welcome break from my amazingly crazy/busy school schedule. After that it's a week back at school, then 4 weeks home for Christmas! It's so hard to believe that the fall semester is drawing to a close, and I can cross one more semester off my list. This spring promises to be even busier, since I have to take two classes not in the program (to hopefully finish meeting my pre-requisite requirements). I was told to take another fine arts course either in the spring or summer, but since I'm sure the spring will be at least 18-19 hours with my extra 2 courses included, I'm going to try to save that fine arts course (if I do end up taking it) for the summer. I plan on talking to the registrar's office, because I've been told two different things by two people and if I don't have to take another course, all the better for me time wise and better for my parents finances-wise.
I have my first test for this 2nd round of classes on Tuesday. I think that this round has fewer tests than the first round did, which can either be a good or bad thing. One class has a ton of projects (all of which I've finished except for 2), while another is more practical and hands-on with everything. In that class we practiced IV injections, placing IVs and IV catheters, drawing blood, etc. just this week. It's been a fun time since we get to apply what we learn in practical ways. In our Food Animal Lab on Monday, I was lucky enough to witness the birth of a calf to a first time mother. Our professor had told the first lab group (we were the second/last) that we'd probably never be able to see that happen at the dairy, and we ended up seeing a birth that very day at the end of lab! It made being out there later worth it, and it was a first-time experience for me that I enjoyed. I've never seen the birth of an animal, and as the calf was born, I'll be honest, I kind of got choked up. It's amazing that an animal that large can be in another animal during that time. Miracle and wonder of God's creation! I look forward to getting to hopefully help with more things like that in my future.
Well, I'd love to make this a lot longer, but I've got radiology shadowing this afternoon, and I have to finish getting ready! :)
I have my first test for this 2nd round of classes on Tuesday. I think that this round has fewer tests than the first round did, which can either be a good or bad thing. One class has a ton of projects (all of which I've finished except for 2), while another is more practical and hands-on with everything. In that class we practiced IV injections, placing IVs and IV catheters, drawing blood, etc. just this week. It's been a fun time since we get to apply what we learn in practical ways. In our Food Animal Lab on Monday, I was lucky enough to witness the birth of a calf to a first time mother. Our professor had told the first lab group (we were the second/last) that we'd probably never be able to see that happen at the dairy, and we ended up seeing a birth that very day at the end of lab! It made being out there later worth it, and it was a first-time experience for me that I enjoyed. I've never seen the birth of an animal, and as the calf was born, I'll be honest, I kind of got choked up. It's amazing that an animal that large can be in another animal during that time. Miracle and wonder of God's creation! I look forward to getting to hopefully help with more things like that in my future.
Well, I'd love to make this a lot longer, but I've got radiology shadowing this afternoon, and I have to finish getting ready! :)
Friday, October 7, 2011
Nearly There...
Whew. My goodness, it's been a whirlwind of activity since August, and even since I last updated my blog. Right now, we're currently in the process of wrapping up this first round of classes, as I had 2 finals this week (Anatomy and Physiology Lab, Radiology lecture), with 3 coming up next week (A&P lecture, Terminology, and Radiology Lab). We'll start a new round of classes next Wednesday, which hopefully won't end up being as stressful as the first round was!
Our Vet. Tech fall festival is this Sunday, Oct. 9 (1-6 p.m. in Starkville, MS at the Moncrief Dog park if you're interested!!! ;) ), and I'll be glad to get it over with. We didn't have a lot of time to plan it out, so I hope it's successful. One thing I know though, out of consideration for the juniors that will be coming in next year, we should do some planning for this event and not just drop it in their laps! I also hope that if we have something in the spring, we start planning it now. ;)
In other news, I've been accepted/inducted into the Gamma Beta Phi National Honor Society. I was inducted Tuesday evening. In order to be a member, you have to do a community service project every month, which might be problematic since my tech. schedule is so up in the air right now, and sometimes things happen last minute with meetings and such. BUT, it only has to be during this year, and we skip December since school lets out so early in December (like the very, very first few days of Dec.). So I'm hoping that the GPB thing won't cut into anything with the program, but who knows?
This weekend promises to be extremely loaded/busy, what with studying for 4 finals and the festival on Sunday. So, I better get off here and do some of that studying! ;)
Our Vet. Tech fall festival is this Sunday, Oct. 9 (1-6 p.m. in Starkville, MS at the Moncrief Dog park if you're interested!!! ;) ), and I'll be glad to get it over with. We didn't have a lot of time to plan it out, so I hope it's successful. One thing I know though, out of consideration for the juniors that will be coming in next year, we should do some planning for this event and not just drop it in their laps! I also hope that if we have something in the spring, we start planning it now. ;)
In other news, I've been accepted/inducted into the Gamma Beta Phi National Honor Society. I was inducted Tuesday evening. In order to be a member, you have to do a community service project every month, which might be problematic since my tech. schedule is so up in the air right now, and sometimes things happen last minute with meetings and such. BUT, it only has to be during this year, and we skip December since school lets out so early in December (like the very, very first few days of Dec.). So I'm hoping that the GPB thing won't cut into anything with the program, but who knows?
This weekend promises to be extremely loaded/busy, what with studying for 4 finals and the festival on Sunday. So, I better get off here and do some of that studying! ;)
Friday, September 9, 2011
3 weeks down...
Somehow it's really hard to believe that I'm already 3 weeks into the fall semester, 2011/2012 school year. It just doesn't seem at all possible!!! I guess when you're so focused on things, you lose track of time. I think I'm finally starting to develop a studying routine, as well as getting into the rhythm of doing things. That helps me out a lot in that I don't walk around like a headless chicken wondering what to do next! The past two weeks have been kind of trying for me, as last week saw me have a near meltdown (more on that later). I let homework slide, did things last minute, and all around, just wasn't in the right headspace.
Back to my mention of my meltdown; you know by now that this is the first time I've ever been away from home for any extended period of time (summer excluded). It's been very, very hard on me to get used to being on my own, being responsible for my meals and myself, and all in all just being 12 hours away from home and not getting to go home every other weekend. I think a lot of kids here who do have family 3 or 4 hours away take for granted the fact that they can travel home in a weekend to see their family; I can't. My only times to see them are Thanksgiving, Christmas, and spring break, which I suppose is something I should start getting used to, considering that, when I get out into the 'real world', I won't be able to come home every weekend, or be able to do whatever I want to whenever I want. I'll be tied to a job with set hours and an employer who determines when I can take off. Not trying to make that sound bad at all, but just stating a fact. anyway, couple being homesick with not having a group of friends to "hang out with", and not really feeling at home at church (that will hopefully change in the coming weeks), it makes for a very depressed me.
But, I know things won't get better unless I try to change them. I can't sit around moping if I'm not willing to do things to remedy the situation (like going to another church since I'm not happy with the one I'm at right now), but then I'm stuck because I HAVE to develop time to working on projects, papers, and studying. Right now, it's hard for me to determine when I can and can't have fun, and for how long. Sounds like it should be easy, right? Well, I'll gladly argue with you on that point. But I'm sure that once I get more into the groove of things, learn to manage my time a little better, and otherwise, I'll be able to do more "fun" things that I want to do.
Sorry if this depressed any of you. But you know, misery loves company. :) :p
Back to my mention of my meltdown; you know by now that this is the first time I've ever been away from home for any extended period of time (summer excluded). It's been very, very hard on me to get used to being on my own, being responsible for my meals and myself, and all in all just being 12 hours away from home and not getting to go home every other weekend. I think a lot of kids here who do have family 3 or 4 hours away take for granted the fact that they can travel home in a weekend to see their family; I can't. My only times to see them are Thanksgiving, Christmas, and spring break, which I suppose is something I should start getting used to, considering that, when I get out into the 'real world', I won't be able to come home every weekend, or be able to do whatever I want to whenever I want. I'll be tied to a job with set hours and an employer who determines when I can take off. Not trying to make that sound bad at all, but just stating a fact. anyway, couple being homesick with not having a group of friends to "hang out with", and not really feeling at home at church (that will hopefully change in the coming weeks), it makes for a very depressed me.
But, I know things won't get better unless I try to change them. I can't sit around moping if I'm not willing to do things to remedy the situation (like going to another church since I'm not happy with the one I'm at right now), but then I'm stuck because I HAVE to develop time to working on projects, papers, and studying. Right now, it's hard for me to determine when I can and can't have fun, and for how long. Sounds like it should be easy, right? Well, I'll gladly argue with you on that point. But I'm sure that once I get more into the groove of things, learn to manage my time a little better, and otherwise, I'll be able to do more "fun" things that I want to do.
Sorry if this depressed any of you. But you know, misery loves company. :) :p
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)