My friend recently introduced me to a book called Lady In Waiting: Developing Your Love Relationships by Debby Jones and Jackie Kendall. It's been out a while, since 1995, but still a good read. I'm to the 2nd chapter and have decided that I'll use this as sort of a devotional to read in the mornings. I re-read the first chapter today, taking the time to really read it through and write down my thoughts at the end of the chapter (at the end, there are discussion questions to think about). Certainly, I've felt like a lady in waiting. I thought at first, "well this book is like ALL those others I've read", but as I started into the first chapter, I realized that this book is just a little bit different. First of all, there are 10 characteristics of a lady in waiting: Lady of Reckless Abandonment, of Diligence, of Faith, of Virtue, of Devotion, of Purity, of Security, of Contentment, of Conviction, of Patience. The authors use Ruth as a woman who had all 10 of these characteristics. Once my friend and her family get back from China, and I've read through the book, we plan to do a devotional/Bible study together using this book, but as I'm reading it now, I'll try to post some thoughts.
The first chapter is Lady of Reckless Abandonment. Most of the focus is talking about how many women seek to find completion in their boyfriend(s) or husbands, or even their careers. "Too many Christian women think that the inner longings of their heart relate only to love, marriage and motherhood. Look a little closer and see if that longing isn't ultimately for Jesus." That struck me, mainly because since I'm still technically a teenager, I face those feelings of never having someone, or not being able to be held by a guy. I'll say this, I've never dated and I'm 18. I don't brag about it because it's not an easy lifestyle! But I am proud of it because I feel as if I've been able to be true to the calling God has set before me, and that is to wait to date until He says it's time. Reading this chapter, I realized how much I depend on other things/people to fill me up. How much time do I waste on Facebook or online doing absolutely nothing? How many mornings do I actually set aside to spend time with God? I never am consistent with my morning devotions. Some mornings, if I'm really with it, I'll sit down and do a quiet time. But I rarely ever take the time to pray or to just sit and listen to His voice. I've decided that with this book, I will strive to start every morning by setting my focus on Him. I've found that, although sometimes my days are bad anyway, they often aren't as rough when I've started it all off with Him. I've always known, deep down in my heart, that completion can never be found in another person but Christ. Sometimes, though, I lose sight of that and I get selfish. I look to my friends or to films or to books to provide fulfillment, and when they don't, I get angry and/or depressed about it. No more! Tonight, when I take my prayers to God, I'm going to committ to Him to strive to look for my fulfillment in Him. It can't happen overnight, of course. Many times, I wish it could! In fact, I think it's why I'm still single: God's not done with my single season. He isn't done with my singleness, and He knows, even if I don't, that He's still got to work on me some more before I'm ready to be involved with a guy. Oh believe me, I get very impatient sometimes, but I know that he, that very special person, IS coming. Could he already be here and I don't know it? Kinda doubtful, but who knows? But I can say that right now, I'm not ready to date. I have to 1. find my completion in Christ, 2. learn how to re-focus on Him daily, and 3. simply draw closer to Him.
Ultimately, I think that's where it all starts. You have to find your completion in CHrist, learn to be content on a dateless Saturday, and just trust Him with your future.
Now, another focus in the chapter was on the sinful woman and her alabaster box in the Bible. She broke a costly perfume over the head of Christ, anointing Him for burial, AND offering Him all she had. She "wisely broke her alabaster box in the presence of the only One who can make a woman's dreams come true." Your alabaster box can be a dream of a white knight in shining armor riding in to sweep you off your feet. "Take your alabaster box to Jesus and break it in His presence...." I thought, well surely I haven't done that yet! But then, I'm content to be single. for now. Oh sure, sometimes I wish Friday night was date night, but in most cases, I'm happy being single. No guy could put up with me long enough, I think! So how do I know that I"ve "broken my alabaster box"? Easy: "When the Lord gives" me "a difficult assignment, such as another dateless month," I "receive His terms without resentment." I'm not ALWAYS happy with being alone, but most of the time, I just remind myself it's for God's best, and then I just set it aside in my mind.
Okay well, this has turned into a very long blog, and so I better stop. More to come tomorrow, hopefully! :)
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
Summer Goes By Much too Fast
Where does the summer go? It wasn't that long ago that I was looking at the end of May!!! Summer classes have kept me busy; so busy, in fact, that I had to miss out on helping with VBS this year. Disappointing, but sometimes life has to take priority over something fun. But thankfully, finals are only a week away! About a week ago, I found out that I'm going to be an aunt in 2011! It's very exciting, but very unexpected for all of us. But I'm excited that I'll get to have a little niece or nephew.
Next weekend I'm finally going to be able to hang out with some good friends of mine. I haven't been able to spend much time with them in almost 2 years! Their family is homeschooled like we were, and I think that's a reason we have so much in common. The oldest girl and I are both in college, so it's very difficult to find time to get together; and her younger sister will be going to college in the fall. It's very odd to think of how much we've changed in the last 5 years (the amount of time I've known them), and it doesn't seem all that possible. It should be good to get away from the chaos that plagues a preacher's home and church and just relax with good friends.
I'm in the middle of writing a history essay, so this will be it for now. more to come later! :)
Next weekend I'm finally going to be able to hang out with some good friends of mine. I haven't been able to spend much time with them in almost 2 years! Their family is homeschooled like we were, and I think that's a reason we have so much in common. The oldest girl and I are both in college, so it's very difficult to find time to get together; and her younger sister will be going to college in the fall. It's very odd to think of how much we've changed in the last 5 years (the amount of time I've known them), and it doesn't seem all that possible. It should be good to get away from the chaos that plagues a preacher's home and church and just relax with good friends.
I'm in the middle of writing a history essay, so this will be it for now. more to come later! :)
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
A Catchy Title Escapes Me Just Now
I'm starting to feel my creativity creep away, mainly because I feel like anything I blog about is pointless. Oh well. This week I've already been uber busy, as my online college summer classes started Monday. I'm only taking 2, but man, there is a lot of reading! Thankfully, I'm a little bit ahead in reading, but I already have 2 tests pending this week, one Sunday and one Monday. It sort of feels weird to be going to school at home instead of driving to classes, but because of all this heat, I'm glad I'm staying home. This week we also started Vacation Bible School, which I haven't been able to help with at all. I'm supposed to help Friday, but I'm not sure where yet. It's been going slow/fast, slow in the sense that it's only Tuesday, but fast in the sense that we only have 3 days of VBS left. Our theme is a western theme, which really fits with our town. From what I can tell, the kids have been enjoying the theme and are excited about all the songs and lessons.
Sunday was the Pocona race in Pennsylvania. I didn't watch much of it until the last 30 laps or so; I'm very excited for Tony's 3rd place finish! I think it's one of his few top 5's this season, and I'm really disappointed he hasn't done better, but I'm certainly not going to stop supporting him. One thing I can learn from the Earnhardt, Jr. fans: even though he never wins, they don't stop supporting him. Ha. ;) I am also hoping that someone else can take the Cup championship this year and break Johnson's streak. He has hogged the Cup for 4 years and he doesn't deserve a 5th. However, if he does end up winning the Cup for the 5th time, I seriously quit NASCAR. It just isn't fair to other drivers.
Anyway, not much else going on in sleepy little Nocona. Just posted this out of boredom.
Sunday was the Pocona race in Pennsylvania. I didn't watch much of it until the last 30 laps or so; I'm very excited for Tony's 3rd place finish! I think it's one of his few top 5's this season, and I'm really disappointed he hasn't done better, but I'm certainly not going to stop supporting him. One thing I can learn from the Earnhardt, Jr. fans: even though he never wins, they don't stop supporting him. Ha. ;) I am also hoping that someone else can take the Cup championship this year and break Johnson's streak. He has hogged the Cup for 4 years and he doesn't deserve a 5th. However, if he does end up winning the Cup for the 5th time, I seriously quit NASCAR. It just isn't fair to other drivers.
Anyway, not much else going on in sleepy little Nocona. Just posted this out of boredom.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Boogity, Boogity, Boogity! In Nocona?!
Hi all,
It's been a long time since I posted a new blog entry. School has been crazy because next week is finals! I cannot believe that I've been out of high school nearly a year, and been in college nearly a year. I've accomplished more during this year than I ever thought I would. Quick side note: I'm taking one class during the summer, online government. I dropped college algebra because I heard horror stories about the teacher and decided it wasn't worth it.
Anyway. Last Wednesday I had but one class, and I turned in my final paper for Composition via e-mail to my teacher. As I was coming into town, I noticed a lot of activity at Fuel World (a gas station on the outskirts of Nocona). I was confused at first, but then I remembered that there was a group of motorcyclists coming through for lunch, and it was rumored that Tony Stewart was with them! I was nervous about going to the station by myself, but once I got out on the road, I realized I wouldn't be alone; most of the town turned out for it! There had to be over 100 motorcycles stopping. I didn't realize that they were traveling for the 16th Annual Kyle Petty Charity Ride Across America for the Victory Junction camp. Guess who was with them? Well sadly, Tony's appearance was just a rumor, but surprisingly, I got to meet two other NASCAR drivers: Kyle Petty himself and Matt Kenseth! At first I was disappointed that Tony wasn't there, but then I thought, "wait a sec, I can meet 2 NASCAR drivers for FREE! I'm taking advantage of this!". I ended up getting sunburned pretty bad on my shoulders, but it was worth it. Kyle Petty is very cool, though I didn't get to really talk to him. The picture of me and him is one I don't have, but hopefully I'll get it soon from the woman who took it. Below is a picture of me and Matt Kenseth.
Then, I got to meet a former Dallas Cowboys player, Herschel Walker. Didn't have a clue who he was; but he helped the Cowboys win their 3 Superbowls.
All in all, Tony or no Tony, it was an awesome hour and I'm very glad I overcame my own shyness to go up to these guys and get their autographs and a picture taken. Did I mention that I love NASCAR and that Victory Junction is a very awesome organization?!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Glamorizing the Cross?
I wasn't going to post until after Easter, but this question has started to bug me: do we glamorize too easily the cross? I'm sure everyone who goes to church regularly has some form of a cross in their home: be it a piece of artwork, jewelry, something. I myself have cross earrings, a cross necklace, and two crosses hanging on my wall that I've been given as gifts.
But I guess I'm asking myself if I really should display those crosses. Should I really display crosses as jewelry? I mean, in Jesus' day the cross was ugly, cruel, and symbolic of a severe punishment. And I've heard preachers and other people say how we've become all too comfortable with glamorizing the cross. I suppose it's a matter of how you personally feel about the matter: for me, I'm not comfortable with showcasing more than a couple, or having jewelry that is so blingy that it's gaudy. Lately, though, I've been wondering if I should display anything at all out of respect. Will it lead to me trashing every cross in my home? No, probably not.
On the same note, I feel as if when I wear my cross jewelry that it's what every other "Christian" does. Think about it: how many "Christians" do you know who wear at least one piece of cross jewelry? I am willing to guess that nearly all of your "Christian" friends own at least one piece of cross jewelry. What about people who are "Christian" but their lives/choices don't match up with their preaching? When I see those people, and if they are wearing a cross, I think, "How hypocritical. Wearing a cross doesn't prove that you are a Christ-follower. Wearing a cross just says that you think it's a good piece of jewelry", but then I remember that I myself am guilty of wearing the same kind of jewelry. I wear my jewelry sporadically. I wear my Christian t-shirts a little more often because most all of them have a great message to them, and I know that I'm trying to live by whatever that message might be.
The preacher who substituted for my dad 2 weeks ago had 2 great sermons that Sunday. One of them centered on how we are too concerned with how people approve of us instead of being concerned about our hearts before the Lord. He said, "I really dislike the term Christian because it is over-used, over-simplified, and applies to nearly everybody. In the Bible, there are maybe 2 or 3 mentions of the actual word, 'Christian', while "disciple" or "Christ-follower" appears many, many, many more times. That's what I label myself as: a Christ-Follower." That really was a great point: you ask people if they're a Christian and they say, "yeah, I grew up going to church, I'm not a bad person, etc...". Christian applies to almost every person who wishes to apply it to themselves. Not to mention, people tend to think of Christians as being hypocritical all the time. So, if anyone ever asks me if I'm a Christian, I'll say, "No, I'm not. I'm a Christ-follower, which are two different things."
Okay, well, I've kinda run out of things to say, so I'll close this by asking you to consider your heart this Easter. Is it in line with God? Is your will submitting to His? Are your choices reflecting the desires of YOUR heart, or God's? If you'll consider these, so will I. I plan on it.
But I guess I'm asking myself if I really should display those crosses. Should I really display crosses as jewelry? I mean, in Jesus' day the cross was ugly, cruel, and symbolic of a severe punishment. And I've heard preachers and other people say how we've become all too comfortable with glamorizing the cross. I suppose it's a matter of how you personally feel about the matter: for me, I'm not comfortable with showcasing more than a couple, or having jewelry that is so blingy that it's gaudy. Lately, though, I've been wondering if I should display anything at all out of respect. Will it lead to me trashing every cross in my home? No, probably not.
On the same note, I feel as if when I wear my cross jewelry that it's what every other "Christian" does. Think about it: how many "Christians" do you know who wear at least one piece of cross jewelry? I am willing to guess that nearly all of your "Christian" friends own at least one piece of cross jewelry. What about people who are "Christian" but their lives/choices don't match up with their preaching? When I see those people, and if they are wearing a cross, I think, "How hypocritical. Wearing a cross doesn't prove that you are a Christ-follower. Wearing a cross just says that you think it's a good piece of jewelry", but then I remember that I myself am guilty of wearing the same kind of jewelry. I wear my jewelry sporadically. I wear my Christian t-shirts a little more often because most all of them have a great message to them, and I know that I'm trying to live by whatever that message might be.
The preacher who substituted for my dad 2 weeks ago had 2 great sermons that Sunday. One of them centered on how we are too concerned with how people approve of us instead of being concerned about our hearts before the Lord. He said, "I really dislike the term Christian because it is over-used, over-simplified, and applies to nearly everybody. In the Bible, there are maybe 2 or 3 mentions of the actual word, 'Christian', while "disciple" or "Christ-follower" appears many, many, many more times. That's what I label myself as: a Christ-Follower." That really was a great point: you ask people if they're a Christian and they say, "yeah, I grew up going to church, I'm not a bad person, etc...". Christian applies to almost every person who wishes to apply it to themselves. Not to mention, people tend to think of Christians as being hypocritical all the time. So, if anyone ever asks me if I'm a Christian, I'll say, "No, I'm not. I'm a Christ-follower, which are two different things."
Okay, well, I've kinda run out of things to say, so I'll close this by asking you to consider your heart this Easter. Is it in line with God? Is your will submitting to His? Are your choices reflecting the desires of YOUR heart, or God's? If you'll consider these, so will I. I plan on it.
Monday, March 29, 2010
How Your Greatest Disappointment Can be a Great Lesson
Somehow I only seem to get around to blogging every 10 days or so...but I have good excuse for it! Saturday was a big day for me as I was inducted into Phi Theta Kappa International Honor Society. Not bad, eh? Well, I have an added pressure of maintaining my 3.5 GPA for the next year.
Yeah, thought that might be your response.
Anyways, God willing, I will keep working hard and pull my grades through. This semester I have struggled a lot with not only my homework, but also my life in general. I have been so incredibly disappointed with people in my life, namely this one guy that I really liked. Last night it hit me smack in the face: why in the world do I like him anyway? I mean, he really exhibited his immaturity last night, and what I once found humorous, I now find just downright annoying about him. I guess this is my way of saying, "Okay, I'm letting this crush go and getting on with my life", but he also deserves my criticism (he's dating a girl 4 years younger than he is whom his parents don't want him to be involved with, but anywho). God has a strange way of doing things sometimes, doesn't He? I think I've just had to come to realize that no matter how much I fight against something, if it isn't in God's will, it will not make me a happy person. I will not be able to function as a Christian if I continually fight against His leading. And lately, I have been struggling with my future. What will I do? What college will I attend? Will it even matter? I'm standing in-between choosing veterinary medicine and veterinary technology. I pretty much know what college I will eventually transfer to, but it's still confusing to look down the road and not know what's ahead! On that note, last night we had the group Re-Creation at our church. They were amazing; all of them are college-age students who have put their lives on hold for a year at a time to tour. They really support our hospitalized veterans and perform most often for them, and I admire that about them. Anyway, one of the guys in charge came up to me after the show and asked me if I was into computers (he had seen me putting up our computer that we use on Sundays); I told him that I usually run it and program it and everything. He said, "would you be interested in joining the group?" Inwardly I was thinking, "Would I what?" You see, this group is located in Pennsylvania. They stay in PA for about 4 months out of a year and tour the rest of the time. First of all, while I find the offer flattering, I just don't think I could cut it out on the road. I don't travel well! SEcond of all, it would mean moving away from the only state I've ever known as home, and I just don't like that idea whatsoever. Can we say that I'm just a little bit confused right now? Up until now, I had firmly believed God was leading me to be a veterinarian or vet technician. Now, I feel like He could also be calling me to join this group as a technician or computer person and tour the country. It's going to take some very serious prayer about both paths, but right now,I think I'll just wait on His guidance, which in the end I think is the only thing anybody can do.
Yeah, thought that might be your response.
Anyways, God willing, I will keep working hard and pull my grades through. This semester I have struggled a lot with not only my homework, but also my life in general. I have been so incredibly disappointed with people in my life, namely this one guy that I really liked. Last night it hit me smack in the face: why in the world do I like him anyway? I mean, he really exhibited his immaturity last night, and what I once found humorous, I now find just downright annoying about him. I guess this is my way of saying, "Okay, I'm letting this crush go and getting on with my life", but he also deserves my criticism (he's dating a girl 4 years younger than he is whom his parents don't want him to be involved with, but anywho). God has a strange way of doing things sometimes, doesn't He? I think I've just had to come to realize that no matter how much I fight against something, if it isn't in God's will, it will not make me a happy person. I will not be able to function as a Christian if I continually fight against His leading. And lately, I have been struggling with my future. What will I do? What college will I attend? Will it even matter? I'm standing in-between choosing veterinary medicine and veterinary technology. I pretty much know what college I will eventually transfer to, but it's still confusing to look down the road and not know what's ahead! On that note, last night we had the group Re-Creation at our church. They were amazing; all of them are college-age students who have put their lives on hold for a year at a time to tour. They really support our hospitalized veterans and perform most often for them, and I admire that about them. Anyway, one of the guys in charge came up to me after the show and asked me if I was into computers (he had seen me putting up our computer that we use on Sundays); I told him that I usually run it and program it and everything. He said, "would you be interested in joining the group?" Inwardly I was thinking, "Would I what?" You see, this group is located in Pennsylvania. They stay in PA for about 4 months out of a year and tour the rest of the time. First of all, while I find the offer flattering, I just don't think I could cut it out on the road. I don't travel well! SEcond of all, it would mean moving away from the only state I've ever known as home, and I just don't like that idea whatsoever. Can we say that I'm just a little bit confused right now? Up until now, I had firmly believed God was leading me to be a veterinarian or vet technician. Now, I feel like He could also be calling me to join this group as a technician or computer person and tour the country. It's going to take some very serious prayer about both paths, but right now,I think I'll just wait on His guidance, which in the end I think is the only thing anybody can do.
Friday, March 19, 2010
My God is an Awesome God!
Wow. This past week I've been so floored by God's reminders that it isn't funny. Last week sometime, I was checking on my grades for algebra. Thinking that I had flunked my last test, I scrolled down to the test 2 slot. Instead of finding a 65 or something similar, I found a 100%. A WHAT?! If I hadn't been sitting down when I saw my grade, I would have fainted. This chapter was one that I struggled with and I didn't think I would do very well on the test, but I guess that getting that 100 was not only a confidence booster from God, it was also His way of reminding me that hard work, in any area, will be rewarding in the end. I didn't give up on the chapter, and I think that getting an A on the test just reminded me that I'm capable of more than I think I am.
Today I received a letter from my college informing me that I had been accepted into the Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society. Now, I was shocked that I left last semester with a 3.6 GPA, but this takes the cake. Again, I'm glad I was sitting down when I read this letter because otherwise I think I would've fainted dead away. Of course, there was a fee, but my parents wanted me to accept the membership because of how good it will look on my resume (haha). I've never been in any kind of honor society, and not only is this gratifying, it's humbling. The past few weeks I've been in a mood of "I'm worth nothing because I'm stupid. I'm worth nothing because I'm not pretty or thin or anything." These two events just exist to remind me that there is One who values me for who I am. He may not like all that I do or say, but He is going to remind me that I'm valuable to Him.
This past week was also spring Break, but "Break" was kind of an oxymoron. Why? Well, I have a paper due this comin Monday/Wednesday, and I had to take all my books with me to Mississippi. But I ended up not actually "working" a whole lot; I ended up playin the Wii more than I worked on the paper, haha. I think that there are more important things than a paper, and that's spending time with family. It's been a fantastic week and one that I won't forget anytime soon.
Today I received a letter from my college informing me that I had been accepted into the Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society. Now, I was shocked that I left last semester with a 3.6 GPA, but this takes the cake. Again, I'm glad I was sitting down when I read this letter because otherwise I think I would've fainted dead away. Of course, there was a fee, but my parents wanted me to accept the membership because of how good it will look on my resume (haha). I've never been in any kind of honor society, and not only is this gratifying, it's humbling. The past few weeks I've been in a mood of "I'm worth nothing because I'm stupid. I'm worth nothing because I'm not pretty or thin or anything." These two events just exist to remind me that there is One who values me for who I am. He may not like all that I do or say, but He is going to remind me that I'm valuable to Him.
This past week was also spring Break, but "Break" was kind of an oxymoron. Why? Well, I have a paper due this comin Monday/Wednesday, and I had to take all my books with me to Mississippi. But I ended up not actually "working" a whole lot; I ended up playin the Wii more than I worked on the paper, haha. I think that there are more important things than a paper, and that's spending time with family. It's been a fantastic week and one that I won't forget anytime soon.
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